13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, Amy Morin

Good habits are important, but it’s often our bad habits that prevent us from reaching our full potential. … [Bad habits will] slow you down, tire you out, and frustrate you. Despite your hard work and talent, you’ll struggle to reach your full potential when you’ve got certain thoughts, behaviors, and feelings holding you back

 

Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself
Don’t give away your power
Don’t shy away from change
Don’t focus on things you can’t control
Don’t worry about pleasing everyone
Don’t fear taking calculated risks
Don’t dwell on the past
Don’t make the same mistake over and over
Don’t resent other people’s success
Don’t give up after your first failure
Don’t fear alone time
Don’t feel like the world owes you anything
Don’t expect immediate results

>>Go on a self-destruction diet

 

Get the facts straight

Self-compassion means viewing your failures kindly yet realistically. It means understanding that everyone has shortcomings, including you, and that failure doesn’t decrease your worth as a person

Stay focused on the life you want to live

Progress toward your goal might not always be a straight line. Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. And other times, you might feel like you take two steps forward and one step back

 

Eat that frog first., and start taking action., today, now, here !! and claim your success !!

 

 

“”Zap the Gaps! ISBN 0060503009 “”

“”Zap the Gaps! ISBN 0060503009 “”
Target Higher Performance and Achieve It!
By Ken Blanchard, Dana Robinson, and Jim Robinson
Published by HarperCollins Publishers 2002
In a nutshell
Characters : Angela Krafft results-oriented boss,Bill Ambers protagonist director of customer service in a call center,Sarah HR counterpart and mentor, Landscaper Michael St. Vincent
About :Identifying gaps that costs billions and their causes so as to dig right solutions > companies and persons have a lot of uniqueness in them like Plants or Trees or other living beings
Identify The Business Needs by asking “What is our reason for being?” Kill the problem at the first point of contact once and for all, by improving the capabilities to achieve peak performance all time in an empowering environment.
What would YOU need to ‘do more’, ‘do better’, or ‘do differently’ to compete with others like you.
Now Replace YOU with your team, or your company or your supplier or your customer.. you would have now got answers to all your questions
What you SHOULD be doing can be seen and learnt from the STAR performers in the field
When you want to know something., or when someone wants your advice., you should;
Greet and welcome whole heartedly. Ask openend questions for they yeild better quallity and quantity of requisite information . Listen fully and acknoweldge the issue on hand. Be Emphathetic to fit the emotions and feelings of the parties concerned. Refrain being argumentative or defensive or combative. Dont just react , respond measuredly. Identify the key expectations of counterparty and specify the deliverables that could be expected. Exhibit patience, promptnes ,accuracy, comprehensive solution. Apologize, and accept mistakes. Thank for the oppurtunity, express genuine gratitute
What ‘is’ is not as important as what ‘should’ be. What is external and internal to an organization affects its culture a lot But What is internal to a individual affect his permormce more so than any thing else !! The Skill Knowledge and Talent count!!! Pint down the actual issue causer that needs resolution
Expertise canbe gained fast but Experience has tobe earned over a period of time .Specialization do help for firefighting faster, but generalization facilitates handling any situation with ease Communications problem can be eaasily solved if there is a good network and rapport Availability of Adequte information helps in correct and timely decisions Clear expectations bring about rewarding performance. Choose the right mix of actions to solve the issue on hand.

Excellent Leaders, The MOMENTS That Define you

Excellent Leaders, The MOMENTS That Define you [Author: Lee J.Colan Publisher:Cornerstone Leadership Institute]

1 Commit: Giving your all-time best > You are the conductor of your own thoughts ,Mentally reframe challenges to view them in a positive light,Your responsibility as a leader includes always pushing your people and yourself>Think excellence “Why do we do what we do?”, Know it yourself and let your team also understand. Keep it simple people commit to what they can understand but Think big-stir the emotions,causes not goals are reasons to go to work every day >Create a compelling cause Define and live by your team’s foundational values,Look at repeat problems for symptoms of cracks in value systems,Define rules of engagement describing how a team interacts, help focus on what is critical for performance >Secure your foundation

2 Plan: Taking time out Take time to plan/ proactively estimate and forecast instead of just reacting and firefighting,Answer the questions -What are we trying to achieve? (Goals)-How are we going to achieve it? (Plans)-How can I contribute? (Roles)-What’s in it for me? (Rewards),Be more specific, have clarity,Don’t underestimate others intelligence -What am I absolutely passionate about? -Which tasks are very easy and natural for me to perform?Decide to Do or to Delegate,Match each employee’s sweet spot to job requirements,Redesign/reengineer the procedure and process work to keep your team in their sweet spots,eliminating redundancy,reduce /reuse or refuse ineffective resources utilisation >Optimize Sweetspots Cut through the complexities,simple, focused teams are more productive,Identifying this 20 percent of things which are responsible for 80 percent of profits allows you to concentrate 80 percent of your efforts on areas in which they will be most effective so as to Leverage your vital few and minimize your trivial many>Magnify your leadership

3 Act: Making every minute count Excellence belongs to those who act [and grab Life rewards ]instead of making excuses and be inactive Look for excellence in all you do and excellence will find you.Focusing on positive aspects of life attracts “luck”. Look at how adn where you spend your time and enery and resources.Hard work is the best predictor for success>Check your focus Learn to say NO to good so as to say YES to better use of resources,Dont let go team’s time, money and energy wasted in meetings,Do not worry about things that are outside your control and loose focus by being unnecessarily concerned>Treasure your precious resources Spend your time making meaningful decisions, on-line real-time , on those important and urgent issues,Collect the best information you can quickly, then use your leadership intuition to make the decision,Listen more and speak less, look for body langauge and non verbal cues,read between lines, feel the pulse,the higher you are in an organization, the more filtered the information you receive > validate your inputs before decisions

4 Connect: Reaching for the hands of time Showing appreciation is a matter of priority and action, appreciate the subtle difference in treatment between a person and an employee,reinforces desired behavior by more positive intereactions for every negative interaction, appreciate inpublic and scold in private, Employee recognition is more effective when it is tailored to the individual >Look beyond your employees Methodically cultivate relationships/network, get trends and grapewine information,have good MIS,make best your of data on hand and respond fast , take help, research, ask >Cultivate your network Use Effective fun, simple and meaningful,rituals to reinforce your team values for better interaction that fit both your leadership style and the chemistry of the team, few but deep >Ritualize your team -Revitalize

5 Invest: Giving your time to improve a life Mentor for success in work and life of our colleagues,Coach well the first time avoiding cost of repetition by proper investment of a leader’s time and energy,Experiences help you and your employees grow > INSPIRE and Motivate Living your legacy is often the best way to ensure that it will remain, and is also a good way to lead through example Passing the baton to someone you have invested in and seeing your values reflected in that person is one of the most joyful moments for any leader.Even small investments can pay off> Live and Leave your legacy Embrace lifelong learning & build self confidence and instil confidence on team, Use your downtime as mental uptime– read, listen, learn, visualize ,Take help from mentors to get valuable answers to tough questions> Exercise your brain as much as your body

6 Change: Adapting to the times Constantly examine your boundaries to determine if they should be let down for expansion or kept up When you feel you are cruising to victory, take a look around, be humble and focused on the next level, Discomfort allows you to keep your momentum and gives a healthy alertness of where you can improve. > Delight in discomfort Since fear of the unknown is always the strongest, defining moments can occur when you choose to know your fears,act on them, don’t react to them,seek noholds barred input,allowe and accept differing opinions > Get rational about your fears Be Convinced that YOU [your team ] make the difference,Change the world with one small act of yours, one at tiem,regularly,frequently,always pursuing excellence for you and the people around you. >Multiply your power of one

7 Conquer: Standing the test of time Real survivors are masters of their own circumstances, never victims of them. Take inventory of what is lost and what is not, Be thankful, Appreciate the graces,Convert turning points into learning points,Do not obsess about yesterday and do not be seduced by the promise that tomorrow >Move through adversity steadfastedly List your non-negotiables ,be bold and faithful,Excellent leaders break the rules on knowing what is right and acting on it cultiving courage to conquer outside forces, and humility to conquer the inside ones> Take your stand Most people fail because they do not stick to it long enough to succeed Ignoring the odds and critics, never ever giving up, always have faith in yourself and your team > Stick to it Patiently

Manage People Productively

To know how to infuse work with meaning and how to energize and engage the workforce how to how to lead those around Read 123 pages of Way of the Shepherd, The 7 Ancient Secrets to Managing Productive People By Dr. Kevin Leman and William Pentak OR Learn that leadership is personal not professional as can be found below:
Know the Condition of Your Flock > Focus more on people rather than on projects/process/procedure. Recognize each invidual is unique. Discover their personal taste/talents/aspirations and skill and not just treat as another headcount, and connect to them by engaging Be sensitive to employees’ sentiments. People don’t care about how much you know until they know how much you care
Discover the Shape of Your Sheep > Arrange to facilitate acquisition of skill set needed to do the job by training , matching their talents.Fing what they are passionate about and place them accordingly.pick attitude over talent. Since a person is a product of their life experiences,match their job with personality
Help Your Sheep Identify with You > appreciate the need to belong, be authentic and commpassionate so that they love to follow you, simultaneously set high standards of integrity and Eliminate uncertainty and exhibit your love for the cause. Make People feel like you couldn’t do it without them but also Cull chronic instigators ; offer regular job rotation to prevent moss,use persuasion rather than coercion.
Make Your Pasture a Safe Place >Remember People can handle the uncertainty of tomorrow if they can see a leader they are certain they can trust today. Scold the situation not the person.
The Staff of Direction > Give your people freedom but demarcate the limits also, not micro management but proper delegation, though you give the authority to them, you hold the responsibility.Let them know that failure isn’t fatal and that they can learn from their mistakes
The Rod of Correction > Fight for them against external enemies ,Approach discipline as an instructive exercise /teaching opportunity.Regularly inquire about your people’s progress,ask how they’re doing,challenge to grow.
The Heart of the Shepherd >If it’s greatness you want, it’s greatness you must give , Invest Time Enegry and commitment , By focusing on people do not let go of the jobg targets

Habits of Character and Leadership

Thoughts By Brian Tracy on Habits of Character and Leadership 
• The ultimate aim of human life and activity is development of character, according to Aristotle. The most
important goal you could hope to accomplish in the course of your life is to become an excellent person,
in every respect. Your purpose should be to develop the kind of personality and character that earns you
the respect, esteem, and affection of the important people in your world.
• Develop Your Own Character :Aristotle, probably the greatest philosopher and thinker of all time, said a
simple method can help, if you wish to learn a virtue later in life. Simply practice the virtue in every
situation where that virtue is required. In other words, if you wish to develop the quality of courage, act
courageously even when you feel afraid.
• Aspire to Leadership :It is not easy to rise to a position of leadership in any organization or in
any society. The competition for leadership is fierce. Only the people who are the very best equipped to
acquire leadership positions and then to hold on to those positions rise to the top in any area.
• Whatever It Takes :In a way, leadership is "situational." What is necessary for success in a leadership
position is determined by many factors, including the people to be led; the objectives to be accomplished;
the competition for resources; the social, cultural, political, and economic environment; and the situation
that the leader finds at the moment. Changing any of these factors will change the qualities of leadership
necessary for success.
• The True Test of a Leader:Peter Drucker says the only event that is inevitable in the like of the leader is
the "unexpected crisis." Only when you encounter a setback, an obstacle, a difficulty, or the inevitable
crisis, do you demonstrate the kind of person you really are. It is not what you say, wish, hope, or intend
that reveals your character. It is only your actions, especially your actions in the face of adversity and
possible setbacks or losses.
• You Are Responsible :Once you have developed a clear vision for your ideal future and resolve
to develop unshakable courage by doing the things you fear, you must develop the habit of accepting
complete responsibility for yourself and for every aspect of your life.
• Tell the Truth :Perhaps the most important quality of leadership is the habit of integrity.
You develop integrity and become a completely honest person by practicing telling the truth to yourself
and others in every situation. Shakespeare wrote, "To thine own self be true," meaning that you are what
you believe in. You must continually clarify what you stand for and what you will not stand for. Once
you have decided that you are going to build your life around certain values, you refuse to compromise
those values for anything.
• Action Exercise :Imagine that you could write your own eulogy. How would you like to be
remembered and described by others when you are gone?

Thoughts By Brian Tracy Success Leaves Tracks

I began searching for the secrets of success many years ago,and learnt from  A wise man who had studied success for more than 50 years who concluded that the greatest success principle of all was, “learn from the experts.”
Learn From the Experts .If you want to be a big success in any area, find out what other successful people in that area are doing, and do the same things, until you get the same results. When I studied the interviews, speeches, biographies and autobiographies of successful men and women, I found that they all had one quality in common. They were all described as being “extremely well organized.” They used their time very, very well. They were highly productive and they got vastly more done in the same period of time than the average person.
Be Both Effective and Efficient. High performing men and women were both effective and efficient. They did the right things, and they did them in the right way. They were constantly looking for ways to improve the quality and quantity of their output. As a result, their contribution to their organizations was vastly higher and therefore much better paid, than the contributions of the average person.
Action Exercises . Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action: First, develop a study plan today to learn from the experts in your field. This can save you years of hard work. Second, decide what is the most important thing to do, and then decide how to do it.

Plan and Prepare;Thoughts By Brian Tracy

Use A Time Planner A time planner, broken down by day, hour and minute, organized in advance, can be one of the most powerful, personal productivity tools of all. It enables you to see where you can consolidate and create blocks of time for concentrated work. Eliminate All Distractions During this working time, you turn off the telephone, eliminate all distractions and work non-stop. One of the best work habits of all is for you to get up early and work at home in the morning for several hours. You can get three times as much work done at home without interruptions as you ever could in a busy office where you are surrounded by people and bombarded by phone calls. Create an Office in the Air When you fly on business, you can create your office in the air by planning your work thoroughly before you depart. When the plane takes off, you can work non-stop for the entire flight. You will be amazed at how much work you can go through when you work steadily in an airplane, without interruptions. Make Every Minute Count One of the keys to high levels of performance and productivity is for you to make every minute count. Use travel and transition time, what is often called “gifts of time” to complete small chunks of larger tasks. Remember, the pyramids were built one block at a time. A great life and a great career is built one task, and often, one part of a task, at a time. Your job in time management is to deliberately and creatively organize the concentrated time periods you need to get your key jobs done well, and on schedule. Action Exercises Here are two steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action. First, think continually of different ways that you can save, schedule and consolidate large chunks of time. Use this time to work on important tasks with the most significant long-term consequences. Second, make every minute count. Work steadily and continuously without diversion or distraction by planning and preparing your work in advance. Most of all, keep focused on the most important results for which you are responsible.

Thoughts By Brian Tracy;The Power of Pausing

  •All the succcessful persons ask good questions and listen carefully to the answers. One of the most important skills of listening is simply to pause before replying. When the prospect finishes talking, rather than jumping in with the first thing that you can think of, take three to five seconds to pause quietly and wait. •Becoming a Master of the Pause  >All excellent listeners are masters of the pause. They are comfortable with silences. When the other person finishes speaking, they take a breath, relax and smile before saying anything. They know that the pause is a key part of good communications. •Three Benefits of Pausing >Pausing before you speak has three specific benefits. The first is that you avoid the risk of interrupting the prospect if he or she has just stopped to gather his or her thoughts. Remember, your primary job in the sales conversation is to build and maintain a high level of trust, and listening builds trust. When you pause for a few seconds, you often find the prospect will continue speaking. He will give you more information and further opportunity to listen, enabling you to gather more of the information you need to make the sale. •Carefully Consider What You Just Heard >The second benefit of pausing is that your silence tells the prospect that you are giving careful consideration to what he or she has just said. By carefully considering the other person’s words, you are paying him or her a compliment. You are implicitly saying that you consider what he or she has said to be important and worthy of quiet reflection. You make the prospect feel more valuable with your silence. You raise his self-esteem and make him feel better about himself. •Understanding With Greater Efficiency >The third benefit of pausing before replying is that you will actually hear and understand the prospect better if you give his or her words a few seconds to soak into your mind. The more time you take to reflect upon what has just been said, the more conscious you will be of the their real meaning. You will be more alert to how his words can connect with other things you know about the prospect in relation to your product or service. •The Message You Send >When you pause, not only do you become a more thoughtful person, but you convey this to the customer. By extension, you become a more valuable person to do business with. And you achieve this by simply pausing for a few seconds before you reply after your prospect or customer has spoken. •Action Exercises >Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.First, take time to carefully consider what the customer just said and what he might mean by it. Pausing allows you to read between the lines.Second, show the customer that you really value what he has said by reflecting for a few moments before you reply.

Take Time Out for Mental Digestion By: Brian Tracy

Take Time Out for Mental Digestion By: Brian Tracy How to get support for your ideas more easily than ever before. Many years ago a retiring executive gave me an old pamphlet titled, “Take Time Out for Mental Digestion.” saying that this little pamphlet had been one of the most helpful things he had ever read in his business life. At the time I spoke to him he was the president of a corporation with more than 10,000 employees. The message of this pamphlet was simple. It said that people always resist new ideas and new courses of action, even if the ideas are good for them. However, if they have an opportunity to think about them for a few days, very often they will come around to the new way of thinking with both agreement and enthusiasm. The pamphlet said that an individual needs about 72 hours to absorb a new idea. Effective executives are those who present their ideas in very casual way, rather than as a decision or a fact engraved in stone. They present their thoughts as ideas for consideration. Effective executives encourage the other person to take the new idea or new way of doing things and think about it for a few days. They say that “we can discuss this later” and they just leave the idea with the other person. Over the years, I have found this to be a remarkable piece of advice and a very important insight to communicating effectively with others. People Will Resist Change >It is normal and natural for people to resist change of any kind, even and including a change that they will benefit from. So, allow them to take time out for mental digestion. Present your new idea in a low keyed, non-threatening way and just encourage the individual to think about it for a while and then discuss it later. Present Ideas As Possibilities >In my early executive career, I was continually frustrated by trying to get my ideas, which I had thought through and which I, of course, thought were wonderful, accepted by my seniors and my co-workers. When I started taking time out for mental digestion and just presented my ideas as possibilities, I was astonished at how much more readily people turned around and came to see the validity of the ideas. I also found that, if you present an idea with too much enthusiasm, you trigger natural resistance which soon becomes ego-based, irrespective of the validity of the ideas. Present Ideas in a Low-Keyed Manner >On the other hand, if you present your ideas in a low-keyed manner and just leave them for consideration, people can come around to accepting them in their own time and embracing your new ideas without any loss of face or without any ego problems. The next time you have a great idea, mention it casually and ask other people what they think about it. Give people time to digest the idea, even if they are totally opposed to it at the beginning. Action Exercises >Now, here are two things you can do to use this principle in practice. First, think your ideas through on paper before you present them to others. Expect natural resistance. When you do present your ideas, do it in a low keyed, almost indifferent manner so that it stirs up no resistance. Second, expect your ideas to be rejected initially. When this happens, simply ask open ended questions to get feedback and then present your ideas again at a later time in a different form. It is amazing how effective this strategy will be.

Thoughts By Brian Tracy-Break Away From Old Ideas

  •Highly creative people tend to have fluid, flexible, adaptive minds. Here are three statements that creative people can make easily and which you learn by regular practice •Admit It When You Are Wrong >The first is simply, “I was wrong.” Many people are so concerned with being right that all their mental energy is consumed by stonewalling, bluffing, blaming and denying. If you’re wrong, admit it and get on to the solution or the next step. •Three Benefits of Pausing >Pausing before you speak has three specific benefits. The first is that you avoid the risk of interrupting the prospect if he or she has just stopped to gather his or her thoughts. Remember, your primary job in the sales conversation is to build and maintain a high level of trust, and listening builds trust. When you pause for a few seconds, you often find the prospect will continue speaking. He will give you more information and further opportunity to listen, enabling you to gather more of the information you need to make the sale. •Face Up to Mistakes >Second, non-creative people think that it is a sign of weakness to say, “I made a mistake.” On the contrary, it is actually a sign of mental maturity, personal strength and individual character. Remember, everybody makes mistakes every single day . •Be Flexible With New Information>The third statement that creative people use easily is, “I changed my mind.” It is amazing how many uncomfortable situations people get into and stay in because they are unwilling or afraid to admit that they’ve changed their minds. . •Be Willing to Cut Your Losses >If you get new information or if you find that you feel differently about a previous decision, accept that you have changed your mind and don’t let anyone or anything back you into a corner. If a decision does not serve your best interests as you see them now, have the ego-strength and the courage to “cut your losses,” to change your mind and then get on to better things •Action Exercises >Here are two ways you can break out of narrow thinking patterns and become more creative. First, be willing to admit that you are not perfect, you make mistakes, you are wrong on a regular basis. This is a mark of intelligence and courage. Second, with new information, be willing to change your mind. Most of what you know about your business today will change completely in the coming years so be the first to recognize it

laws-brian tracy

Anyone can enjoy success simply by reaching the point where they are perfectly content with their life in most respects, provided you always continue to learn, grow, innovate and improve and build Your ability to get along with others Law of Cause and Effect- Everything happens for a reason; Every action has a reaction equal or opposite Law of Belief- Whatever you truly believe in will become reality Law of Expectation- Whatever you conceive you will achieve; you do really dream up your future Law of Attraction-You attract what you desire;thoughts are powerful and can penetrate almost any barrier Law of Correspondence-Outside world is an image of your mental makeup inside;what you visualize and imagine inside you will experience outside Law of Control-no one can decide on your mood except yourself; it is not the events but how you react is what matters Law of Accident- Life is a series of random occurrences; it is upto to make the most benefit of each incident Law of Responsibility-You are responsible for whatever happens to you and your life;you have to take charge Law of Direction- Successful people need to have clear sense of purpose and direction Law of Compensation- You are fully compensated for whatever you do, positive or negative appropriately Law of Preparation -no pain no gain;serious hardwork gets rewarded Law of Purpose-Ethics and morals will gudie you the right path; It is not the sail but the rudder that matters more Law of the Customer-Customer is the king; business exists to satisfy the customers felt needs; Law of Quality-Quality is what the customer says it is and is willing to pay for;efficieny /productivity/aesthetics alone may not be enough Law of Specialization-Focus and expertise due to iteration ;In what ways could our product or service be modified or improved so that it satisfies even more of the special needs of a larger number of customers? Law of Integrity-honesty, truthfulness, and fairness at all levels at all times Law of Courage-Decisive and Firm and ability to say No Law of Power-ability to influence people over whom you have no direct control or authority Law of Capital- Your most valuable asset, in terms of cash flow, is your physical and mental capital, your earning ability. Law of Time Perspective-Understanding what is important and urgent; understanding your and mine views; understanding yesterday today and tomorrow Law of Investing-Investigate before you invest Law of Sales- Nothing happens until a sale takes place Law of Need- Every decision to purchase a product of service is an attempt to satisfy a need or relieve a dissatisfaction of some kind Law of Persuasion- The purpose of the selling process is to convince customers that they will be better off with the product than they would be with the money necessary to buy the product/service Law of Perverse Motivation- Everyone likes to buy, but no one wants to be sold. Law of Negotiating- Everything is negotiable Law of Four -Four issues, are to be decided upon in any negotiation of which one will be the main issue and three will be secondary issues Law of Anticipation- Eighty percent of your success comes form your preparation ie 20 pcercent of your efforts Law of Greater Power- The person with the greater power, real or imagined, will get the better deal in any negotiation Law of Clarity- The clearer you are about your goals and objectives, the more efficient and effective you will be Law of Posteriorities- Before you start something new, you must discontinue something old/obsolete Law of Competence- You can increase your efficiency and your effectiveness by becoming better and better at your key tasks

Magical six- rules for human to human contact

1 Remember you are working with people: Don’t exhaust them. People aren’t machines. Treat them with dignity and respect. 2 Listen to and talk with your people: Be inclusive. Do it frequently. Value and develop people skills in supervisors and managers. 3 Fix things promptly: Don’t let issues fester. Keep people informed of progress. 4 Make sure your paperwork is worth having: Keep it current. Make sure it’s meaningful. 5 Measure and monitor risks that people are exposed to: Don’t just react to incidents: fix things before incidents happen. Control risks at their source. 6 Keep checking that what you are doing is working effectively: Are you achieving what you think you are?

Golden Platinum Rules

We have all heard of the Golden Rule-and many people aspire to live by it. The Golden Rule is not a panacea. Think about it: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The Golden Rule implies the basic assumption that other people would like to be treated the way that you would like to be treated

 

Now the Tony Allesandra’s Platinum rule says : “Treat others the way they want to be treated.” Ah hah! What a difference. The Platinum Rule accommodates the feelings of others. The focus of relationships shifts from “this is what I want, so I’ll give everyone the same thing” to “let me first understand what they want and then I’ll give it to them.”….understand what drives people and recognize your options for dealing with them…

 

So the Double Platinum rule is (you guessed it), “treat others the way they don’t even know they want to be treated”. Anticipate their needs, not just  felt and expressed., but unknown but real and hidden ones too..and exceed the expectations and not just do you job..

 

Directors >

Directors are driven by two governing needs: to control and achieve. Directors are goal-oriented go-getters who are most comfortable when they are in charge of people and situations. They want to accomplish many things-now-so they focus on no-nonsense approaches to bottom-line results.

 

Directors seek expedience and are not afraid to bend the rules. They figure it is easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission. Directors accept challenges, take authority, and plunge head first into solving problems. They are fast-paced, task-oriented, and work quickly and impressively by themselves, which means they become annoyed with delays.

 

Directors are driven and dominating, which can make them stubborn, impatient, and insensitive to others. Directors are so focused that they forget to take the time to smell the roses.

 

Socializers >

Socializers are friendly, enthusiastic “party-animals” who like to be where the action is. They thrive on the admiration, acknowledgment, and compliments that come with being in the lime-light.

 

The Socializer’s primary strengths are enthusiasm, charm, persuasiveness, and warmth. They are idea-people and dreamers who excel at getting others excited about their vision. They are eternal optimists with an abundance of charisma. These qualities help them influence people and build alliances to accomplish their goals.

 

Socializers do have their weaknesses: impatience, an aversion to being alone, and a short attention span. Socializers are risk-takers who base many of their decisions on intuition, which is not inherently bad. Socializers are not inclined to verify information; they are more likely to assume someone else will do it.

 

Thinkers >

Thinkers are analytical, persistent, systematic people who enjoy problem-solving. Thinkers are detail-oriented, which makes them more concerned with content than style. Thinkers are task-oriented people who enjoy perfecting processes and working toward tangible results. They’re always in control of their emotions and may become uncomfortable around people who very out-going, e.g., Socializers.

 

Thinkers have high expectations of themselves and others, which can make them over-critical. Their tendency toward perfectionism-taken to an extreme-can cause “paralysis by over-analysis.” Thinkers are slow and deliberate decision-makers. They do research, make comparisons, determine risks, calculate margins of error, and then take action. Thinkers become irritated by surprises and glitches, hence their cautious decision-making. Thinkers are also skeptical, so they like to see promises in writing.

 

Relaters >

Relaters are warm and nurturing individuals. They are the most people-oriented of the four styles. Relaters are excellent listeners, devoted friends, and loyal employees. Their relaxed disposition makes them approachable and warm. They develop strong networks of people who are willing to be mutually supportive and reliable. Relaters are excellent team players.

 

Relaters are risk-aversive. In fact, Relaters may tolerate unpleasant environments rather than risk change. They like the status quo and become distressed when disruptions are severe. When faced with change, they think it through, plan, and accept it into their world. Relaters-more than the other types-strive to maintain personal composure, stability, and balance.

In the office, Relaters are courteous, friendly, and willing to share responsibilities. They are good planners, persistent workers, and good with follow-through.

 

Relaters go along with others even when they do not agree because they do not want to rock the boat.

 

Here comes another way of looking at it

 

Attraction  The ignition of desire

 Bargaining  Weighing the possibilities with close friends

 Submission  Jumping in

 Perks   Relishing in the “benefits” of the relationship

 The Tipping Point Where it starts to go downhill

 Purgatory  The culmination of annoyances

 Confrontation  Ending the relationship

 Fallout  The unavoidable backlash

 Coexistence  Letting go and moving on

100ActionPrinciples By Bill FitzPatrick

Crux of the book that might remind yourself what all will help you in your journey to succes

Your Appeal shd be appreciated atleast by you  Write A Personal  Work At Wo r k   Walk The Talk  Venture Outside The Box  Use the Power of Patience   Understand Courage   Treasure the Earth GoGREEN   Think Wi n – Wi n   Thank Your Ancestors   Teach Our Childre n …   Submit to a Higher Power   Stay Fit and Healthy   Stay Centere d   Show Loyalty   Set Goals   Save Face of yours and your team  S p read Your Enthusiasm   S h a re the Cre d i t   Run the Short Road   Risk Failure   Reward Hardwork, work hard too  Respect and Defend All Life   Remain Adaptable   Relax Your Body   Rejoice In the Day   Record Your Thoughts   Read, Read, Read   Read Biographies   Retire Early   Practice Peace   Practice Forgiveness   Promote   Observe and Be Aware   Offer Freely   Negotiate With Power  Master Success   Make Today Special   Make Everyone Feel Important  Maintain Your Presence  Maintain A Positive March the Long Road  Love Many Things  Look in the Mirror   Listen to Your Instincts  Let Them Be  Lead by Example  Learn  Invest In Your Future  Imagine   Honor The Military  Hold Sacred …  Heed the Wa rn i n g s  Have Faith  Give Yourself the Gift of  Give Generously  Get Tough  Follow Your Code of Honor  Follow Through  Focus on Your Strengths   Face Fear  Forget Everybody  Enjoy Quiet Ti me  Embody Integrity  Don’t Complicate Matters   Don’t Be A Perfectionist  Do What You Love Doing  Do What Others Can’t  Divide and Conquer   Develop Your Special Talent  Develop Your Sense of Humor  Develop Winning Habits   Demonstrate Your Love  Count the Time  Communicate with Ease  Commit to Never Ending Close the Door on the Past  Cause Change  Call to Action  Control Conflict  Build Your Team   Build Networks  Become Grateful  Be the Warrior  Be Prudent   Be Proud   Be Persistent   Be Open to New Ideas   Be Frugal   Be Decisive   Be A Mentor  Avoid negative thoughts and thinkers Ask yourself before you question others Ask questions a lot  Appreciate your customers  Applaud the beginner  Allow you opponent oppurtunity to be heard  Act with boldness, be couragious  Act as your Feel, respect intuition Accept Differences

Just do it. Eat that Frog Brian Tracy

Just do it. Eat that Frog Brian Tracy

Galileo once wrote,
“You cannot teach a person something he does not already know; you can only bring what he does know to his awareness.”

Success Is Predictable
Simply put, some people are doing better than others because they do things differently and they do the right things right.

A Simple Truth
The ability to concentrate single-mindedly on your most important task, to do it well and to finish it completely, is the key to great success, achievement, respect, status and happiness in life.
YOU will never be able to do everything you have to do

The Need to Be Selective
An average person who develops the habit of setting clear priorities and getting important tasks completed quickly will run circlesaround a genius who talks a lot and makes wonderful plans but who gets very little done.

Your “frog” is your biggest, most important task, the one you are most likely to procrastinate on if you don’t do something about it.

The first rule of frog-eating is: “If you have to eat two frogs, eat the ugliest one first.”
The second rule of frog-eating is: “If you have to eat a live frog at all, it doesn’t pay to sit and look at it for very long.”

SO, if you have two important tasks before you, start with the biggest, hardest and most important task first. Discipline yourself to begin immediately and then to persist until the task is complete before you go on to something else  .you are paid and promoted for getting specific, measurable results Many people confuse activity with accomplishment.
The habit of setting priorities, overcoming procrastination and getting on with your most important task is a mental and physical skill.With practice, you can learn any behavior or develop any habit that you consider either desirable or necessary. The three key qualities to develop the habits decision, discipline, and determination.

“Think on paper.”
“There is one quality that one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants and a burning desire to achieve it.” Napoleon Hill
Clarity is perhaps the most important concept in personal productivity.A major reason for procrastination and lack of motivation is vagueness, confusion and fuzzy mindedness about what it is you are trying to do, and in what order and for what reason.
Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement.> Decide exactly what you want. Write it down.  Set a deadline on your goal . Make a list of everything that you can think of that you
are going to have to do to achieve your goal. . Organize the list into a plan [by priority and sequence] Take action on your plan immediately.  Resolve to do something every single day that moves
you toward your major goal
“One of the very worst uses of time is to do something very well that need not be done at all.” Stephen Covey says that, “Before you begin scrambling up the ladder of success, make sure that it is leaning against the right building

Plan Every Day In Advance
Q:”How do you eat an elephant?”A:”One bite at a time!”
“Planning is bringing the future into the present so you can do something about it now.” Alan Lakein
Alex Mackenzie wrote, “Action without planning is the cause of every failure.”
Your mind, your ability to think, plan and decide, is your most powerful tool for overcoming procrastination and increasing your productivity  .The more time you take to make written lists of everything you have to do, in advance, the more effective and efficient you will be
Adopt Six “P” Formula. It says, “Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance.”
10/90 Rule says that the first 10% of time that you spend planning and organizing your work, before you begin, will save you as much as 90% of the time in getting the job done once you get started.

Apply Pareto Principle -“Resist the temptation to clear up small things first.”
“We always have time enough, if we will but use it aright.” Wolfgang Von Goethe
80/20 Rule >”vital few,” the top 20% in terms of money and influence, and the “trivial many,” the bottom 80%. 20% of your activities will account for 80% of your results.So universally 20 Pct value accounts for 80 Pct volume.
The most valuable tasks you can do each day are often the hardest and most complex and these invariably payoff and reward tremendously
Just thinking about starting and finishing an important task motivates you and helps you to overcome procrastination
If you procrastinate on important things they become urgent

Consider the Consequences-“Long-term thinking improves short-term decision making.”
“Every man has become great; every successful man has succeeded, in proportion as he has confined his powers to one particular channel.” Orison Swett Marden
The potential consequences of any task or activity are the key determinants of how important it really is to you and to your company.
“long-time perspective” is the most accurate single predictor of upward social and economic mobility;future-orientation of the consequences of your actions.
“What are the potential consequences of doing or not doing this task?” “Future intent influences and often determines present actions.”

Think about the Long Term
“Failures do what is tension relieving while winners do what is goal achieving.”
Motivation requires motive.the time is going to pass anyway. The only question is how you use it and where you are going to end up at the end of the weeks and months
“There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.”
“There will never be enough time to do everything you have to do.”

Deadlines Are an Excuse
Sometimes the job actually takes much longer to complete when people rush to get the job done at the last minute and then have to redo it
The question is “What are my highest value activities?””What can I and only I do, that if done well, will make a real difference?” “What is the most valuable use of my
time, right now?”
Peter Drucker said DO ONLY ,What can you, and only you do, that if done well, can make a real difference!!
As Goethe said, “The things that matter most must never be at the mercy of the things that matter least.” “Just begin and the mind grows heated;continue, and the task will be completed!”

Practice Creative Procrastination “You can only get your time and your life under control to the degree to which you discontinue lower value activities.”
“Make time for getting big tasks done every day. Plan your daily workload in advance. Single out the relatively few small jobs that absolutely must be done immediately in the morning. Then go directly to the big tasks and pursue them to completion.” Boardroom Reports
The fact is that you can’t do everything that you have to do. You have to procrastinate on something! Therefore, procrastinate on small tasks
A priority is something that you do more of and sooner, while a posteriority is something that you do less of and later, if at all.
Say it politely and courteously. “No!” Say it early and say it often.

Procrastinate on Purpose
Most people engage in unconscious procrastination.set posteriorities wherever and whenever you can.

Use the ABCDE Method Continually
“The first law of success is concentration – to bend all the energies to one point, and to go directly to that point, looking neither to the right or to the left.” William Mathews
An “A” item is defined as something that is very important. This is something that you must do. This is a task for which there can be serious consequences if you do it or fail to do it  If you have more than one “A” task, you prioritize these tasks by
writing A-1, A-2, A-3, and so on in front of each item
A “B” item is defined as a task that you should do. But it only has mild consequences. These are the tadpoles of your work life. This means that someone may be unhappy or inconvenienced if you don’t do it, but it is nowhere as important as an “A” task. The rule is that you should never do a “B” task when there is an “A”
task left undone
A “C” task is defined as something that would be nice to do, but for which there are no consequences at all, whether you do it or not. This  has no affect at all on your work life.
A “D” task is defined as something you can delegate to someone else. The rule is that you should delegate everything that anyone else can do so that you can free up more time for the “A” tasks that only you can do.
An “E” task is defined as something that you can eliminate altogether and it won’t make any real difference
But every minute that you spend on an “E” task is time taken away from a task or activity that can make a real difference in your life

Focus On Key Result Areas
“When every physical and mental resource is focused, one’s power to solve a problem multiplies tremendously.” Norman Vincent Peale
In its simplest terms, you have been hired to get specific results

The Big Seven
key result areas of management are: Planning,Organizing, Staffing, Delegating, Supervising, Measuring andReporting
key result areas of salespeople are: Prospecting, Building Rapport and Trust, Identifying Needs, Presenting Persuasively, Answering Objections, Closing the Sale, and Getting Resales and Referrals

Clarity Is Essential
The starting point of high performance is for you to first of all identify the key result areas of your work The employee’s ability to perform these tasks quickly and efficiently largely determines her pay and promotability.

Give Yourself a Grade
Grade yourself on a scale of 1-10 in each of those of your key result areas .Your weakest key result area sets the height at which you can use all your other skills and abilities
The better you become in a particular skill area, the more motivated you will be to perform that function, the less you will procrastinate and the more determined you will be to get it finished

The Great Question
“What one skill, if I developed and did it in an excellent fashion, would have the greatest positive impact on my career?” The good news is that all business skills are learnable .Never stop improving

The Law of Three
““Do what you can with what you have right where you are.” Theodore Roosevelt

One Thing All Day Long
“Once I had made up this list, you then told me to ask this question, ‘If you could only do one thing on this list, all day long, which one task would contribute the greatest value to your company?’ 90% of the value that you contribute to your company is contained in those TOP three tasks
Your rewards, both financial and emotional, will always be in direct proportion to your results, to the value of your contribution.It is quality of time at work that counts and quantity of time at home that matters.

When you go to work, put your head down and work the whole time. Start a little earlier, stay a little later, and work a little harder. Don’t waste time ..By not working effectively and efficiently during your workday, you create unnecessary stress and you deprive the members of your family of the very best person you can possibly be.

Prepare Thoroughly Before You Begin.“You miss every shot you don’t take.” Wayne Gretsky,

“No matter what the level of your ability, you have more potential than you can ever develop in a lifetime.” James T. McKay
When you are fully prepared, you are like a cocked gun or an archer with an arrow pulled back taut in the bow. You just need one small mental push to get started on your highest value tasks.
Once you have completed your preparations, it is essential that you launch immediately toward your goals. Get started. Do the first thing, whatever it is.  Don’t expect perfection the first time, or even the first few times. “get it 80% right and then correct it later.”

Take It One Oil Barrel at A Time
“Persons with comparatively moderate powers will accomplish much if they apply themselves wholly and indefatigably to one thing at a time.” Samuel Smiles
Confucius wrote that, “A journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step.”

Take It One Step at a Time. Your job is to go as far as you can see. You will then see far enough to go further.

Upgrade Your Key Skills
“The only certain means of success is to render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be.” Og Mandino
Pat Riley, said, “If you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse.”

Never Stop Learning .“Continuous learning is the minimum requirement for success in any field.”
One of the most helpful of all time management techniques is for you to get better at your key tasks. One piece of information or one additional skill can make an enormous difference in your ability to do the job well.

Three Steps to Mastery
First, read in your field for at least one hour every day Second, take every course and seminar available on key skills that can help you Third, listen to educational/developmental programs ,say while drving.The more you learn and know, the more confident and motivated  you feel .And there is no limit to how far or how fast you can advance except for the limits you place on your own imagination.

Leverage Your Special Talents
“Do your work. Not just your work and no more, but a little more for the lavishings sake – that little more that is worth all the rest.” Dean Briggs
There are certain things that you can do, or that you can learn to do, that can make you extraordinarily valuable to yourself and to others.

Increase Your Earning Ability .
Take stock of your unique talents and abilities on a regular basis. What is it that you do especially well? What are you good at? What do you do easily and well that is difficult for other people?

Do What You Love to Do
What is it that you enjoy the most about your work?  What is it that you do that gets you the most compliments and praise from other people? You cannot do everything but you can do those few things in which you excel, the few things that can really make a difference.

Identify Your Key Constraints .Why aren’t you at your goal already?
“Concentrate all your thoughts on the task at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” Alexander Graham Bell
Ask yourself these questions: What is holding you back? What sets the speed at which you achieve your goals? What determines how fast you move from where you are to where you want to go?
Whatever you have to do, there is always a limiting factor that determines how quickly and well you get it done.

The accurate identification of the limiting factor in any process and the focus on that factor can usually bring about more progress in a shorter period of time than any other single activity.
80% of the constraints, the factors that are holding you back from achieving your goals, are internal. They are within yourself, within your own personal qualities, abilities, habits, disciplines or competencies Only 20% of the limiting factors are external outside, in the form of competition, markets, governments or other organizations

Look Into Yourself
“What is it in me that is holding me back?” The failure to identify the correct constraint, or the identification of the wrong constraint, can lead you off in the wrong direction.
Often, starting off your day with the removal of a key bottleneck or constraint fills you full of energy and personal power

Put the Pressure on Yourself “No one is coming to the rescue/motivate.”
“The first requisite for success is to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary.” Thomas Edison
Only about 2% of people can work entirely without supervision. We call these people “leaders.” and others of ofcourse continue as followers
The standards you set for your own work and behavior should be higher than anyone else could set for you. Always look for ways to go the extra mile, to do more than you are paid for
Then race against your own clock. Beat your own deadlines

Maximize Your Personal Powers
“Gather in your resources, rally all your faculties, marshal all your energies, focus all your capacities upon mastery of at least one field of endeavor.” John Haggai
Overworking Can Mean Underproducing
The more tired you become, the worse will be the quality of your work and the more mistakes you will make.
At a certain point, like a battery that is run down, you can reach “the wall” and simply be unable to continue.

Work at Your Own Pace
There are specific times during the day when you are at your best for certain things you. Take at least one full day off every week. It is true that “a change is as good as a rest.”
Aim to exercise 30 minutes per day, to Guard Your Physical Health By eating lean and healthy, exercising regularly and getting lots of rest, you’ll get more and better work done, easier and with greater satisfaction than ever before.
Motivate Yourself into Action .Optimistic people seem to be more effective.
“It is in the compelling zest of high adventure and of victory, and of creative action that man finds his supreme joys.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Most of your emotions, positive or negative, are determined by how you talk to yourself on a minute-to-minute basis. It is not what happens to you but the way that you interpret the things that are happening to you that determines how you feel  .You should talk to yourself positively all the time to boost your self-esteem.
“The last great freedom of mankind is the freedom to choose your attitude under any set of external conditions.” Victor Frankl
“You should never share your problems with others because 80% of people don’t care about them anyway, and the other 20% are kind of glad that you’ve got them in the first place.”
1. look for the good in every situation 2. difficulties come not to obstruct, but to instruct. 3.look for the solution to every problem 4.continually visualize your goals and ideals and talk to  yourself in a positive way,

Get Out Of the Technological Time Sinks .Don’t Become Addicted
“There is more to life than just increasing its speed.” Ghandhi
Technology can be your best friend or your worst enemy .Technology is meant to help us to improve the quality of our lives by enabling us to accomplish our key tasks and communicate with the key people in our world faster and more efficiently than ever before you need to detach on a regular basis from the technology and communication devices that can overwhelm you if you are not careful

Continuous Contact Is Not Essential
Refuse to Be a Slave. Technology is there to help you, not to hinder you,  A Servant, Not a Master .Keep asking yourself, “What’s important here?”
Maintain your “inner calm” by forcing yourself to stop on a regular basis and “listen to the silence.”
There are very few things that are so important that they cannot wait.“If it is really important, someone will tell you.”

Slice and Dice the Task-Develop a Compulsion to Closure
“The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread, but every time we repeat the act we strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably in thought and act.” Orison Swett Marden
you lay out the task in detail and then resolve to do just one slice of the job for the time being, like eating a roll of salami, one slice at a time ;once you have started and completed a single part of the job, you will feel like doing just one more “slice.”
And the bigger the task you start and complete, the better and more elated you feel .Each small step forward energizes you
You Swiss cheese a task when you resolve to work for a specific time period on a task. This may be as little as five or ten minutes, after which you will stop and do something else .Once you start working, you develop a sense of forward momentum and a feeling of accomplishment. Don’t delay. Try it today!

Create Large Chunks of Time-Make Every Minute Count
“Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all of your energies on a limited set of targets.” Nido Qubein
Your ability to create and carve out these blocks of high value, highly productive time, is central to your ability to make a significant contribution to your work and your life.
Remember, the pyramids were built one block at a time.Use travel and transition time, what is often called “gifts of time” ,deliberately and creatively organize,to complete small chunks of larger tasks.

Develop A Sense of Urgency
“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” Napoleon Hill
Highly productive people take the time to think, plan and set priorities. They then launch quickly and strongly toward their goals and objectives. They work steadily, smoothly and continuously  One of the ways you can trigger this state of flow is by developing a “sense of urgency.” This is an inner drive and desire to get on with the job quickly and get it done fast .You focus on specific steps you can take immediately

Build Up a Sense of Momentum-Do It Now!
Although it may take tremendous amounts of energy to overcome inertia and get started initially, it then takes far less energy to keep going.
Nothing will help you more in your career than for you to get the reputation for being the kind of person who gets important work done quickly and well

Single Handle Every Task
“And herein lies the secret of true power. Learn, by constant practice, how to husband your resources, and concentrate them, at any given moment, upon a given point.” James Allen
Your ability to select your most important task, to begin it and then to concentrate on it single mindedly until it is complete is the key to high levels of performance and personal productivity

Once You Get Going, Keep Going
keep working at the task, without diversion or distraction, until the job is 100% complete.Persistence is actually self-discipline in action
The truth is that once you have decided on your number one task, anything else that you do other than that is a relative waste of time
Elbert Hubbard defined self discipline as, “The ability to make yourself do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.”

Thoughts By Brian Tracy:Dealing With Overwhelm

  •Too Much to Do, Too Little Time :The most common form of stress that managers experience is the feeling of being overwhelmed with far too much to do and having too little time to do it in. In fact, “time poverty” is the biggest single problem facing most managers in America today. We simply do not have enough time to fulfill all our responsibilities. Because of budget limitations, staff cutbacks, downsizing, and competitive pressures, individual managers are forced to take on more and more work, all of which appears to be indispensable to the smooth functioning of our company or department. •Become An Expert :The solution to this problem of work overload is for you to become an expert on time management. There is probably no other skill that you can learn that will give you a “bigger bang for the buck” than to become extremely knowledgeable and experienced in using time management practices. •Be Open to New Ideas :The most foolish manager of all is either the manager who feels that he has no time to learn about time management or, even worse, the manager who, while being overwhelmed with work, feels that he already knows all that he needs to know about the subject. •Never Stop Learning :The fact is that you can study time management and take time management courses for your entire business life and you will still never learn everything you need to know to get the most out of yourself while doing your job in the most efficient way. •The Keys to Time Management :The two indispensable keys to time management are: 1) the ability to set priorities; and 2) the ability to concentrate single-mindedly on one thing at a time. Since there is never enough time to do everything that needs to be done, you must be continually setting priorities on your activities. Perhaps the very best question that you can memorize and repeat, over and over, is, “what is the most valuable use of my time right now?” •The Best Question of All :This question, “what is the most valuable use of my time right now?” will do more to keep you on track, hour by hour, than any other single question in the list of time management strategies. •Start With Your Top Tasks :The natural tendency for all of us is to major in minors and to give in to the temptation to clear up small things first. After all, small things are easier and they are often more fun than the big, important things that represent the most valuable use of your time. •However, the self-discipline of organizing your work and focusing on your highest value tasks is the starting point of getting your time under control and lowering your stress levels. •Action Exercises :Here are two things you can do immediately to get your time under control. First, make a decision today to become an expert on time management. Read the books, listen to the audio programs, and take a time management course. Then, practice, practice, practice every day until you master time management skills. Second, set clear priorities on your work each day, before you begin. Then, discipline yourself to start on your most important task and stay at that until it is complete. This will relieve much of your stress immediately.

Napoleon Hill in his book, “Law of Success”, says

Napoleon Hill ‘s The Fifteen Laws of Success

1. A Definite Chief Aim. This will teach you how to save the wasted effort which
the majority of people expend in trying to find their life-work. The goal is to
forever to do away with aimlessness and to fix your heart and hand upon
some definite, well conceived purpose as a life work.
2. Self-Confidence. Self-confidence will help you master the six basic fears
which most of us pick-up in life – the fear of Poverty, the fear of Ill-Health, the
fear of Old Age, the fear of Criticism, the fear of Loss of Love of Someone and
the fear of Death. The goal is to learn the difference between egotism and real
self-confidence which is based upon definite, usable knowledge.
3. Habit of Saving. Will teach you how to distribute your income systematically
so that a definite percentage of it will steadily accumulate, thus forming one of
the greatest known sources of personal power. According to Hill no one may
succeed in life without saving money. There is no exception to this rule, and
no one may escape it!
4. Initiative and Leadership This law will show you how to become a leader
instead of a follower in your chosen field of endeavour. It will develop in you
the instinct for leadership which will cause you gradually to gravitate to the top
in all undertakings that you participate.
5. Imagination will stimulate your mind so that you will conceive new ideas and
develop new plans which will help you in attaining the object of your Definite
Chief Aim. This law will show you how to create new ideas out of old, well
known concepts, and how to put old ideas to new uses.
6. Enthusiasm will enable you to ‘saturate’ all with whom you come in contact
with interest in you and your ideas. Enthusiasm is the foundation of a Pleasing
Personality, and you must have such a personality in order to influence others
to co-operate with you.
7. Self-Control is the ‘balance wheel’ with which you control your enthusiasm
and direct it where you wish it to carry you.
8. The Habit of doing more than paid for is one of the most important lessons
of the Law of Success. This will teach you how to take advantage of the Law
of Increasing Returns, which will eventually insure you a return in money far
out of proportion to the service you render. The true leader is one that
continually practices the habit of doing more work and better work than that
for which he or she is paid for.
9. Pleasing Personality is the ‘fulcrum’ on which you must place the ‘crowbar’
of your efforts, and when so placed, with intelligence, it will enable you to
remove mountains of obstacles. To develop as a leader it is vital to possess a
pleasing personality.
10. Accurate Thinking is one of the important foundation stones of all enduring
success. This teaches you how to separate ‘facts’ from mere ‘information’. It
teaches you how to organise known facts into two classes: the ‘important’ and
the ‘unimportant’ fact.
11. Concentration is all about how to focus your attention upon one subject at a
time until you have worked out practical plans for mastering that subject.
Concentration will teach you how to ally yourself with others in such a manner
that you may have the use of their entire knowledge to back you up in your
own plans and purposes.
12. Co-operation will teach you the value of teamwork in all you do. Co-operation
will teach you the value of co-ordinating your own efforts with others by
putting aside friction, jealousy, strife, envy and cupidity.
13. Profiting by Failure will teach you how to make stepping stones out of all
your past and future mistakes and failures. It will teach you the difference
between’ failure’ and ’temporary defeat’, a difference which is very great and
very important. It will teach you how to profit from your own failures and by the
failures of others.
14. Tolerance will teach you how to avoid the disastrous effects of racial and
religious prejudices which mean defeat for millions of people who permit
themselves to become entangled in foolish argument over these subjects,
thereby poisoning their own minds and closing the door, to reason and
investigation. This law is the twin brother of the law Accurate Thought, for the
reason that no one may become an accurate thinker without practicing
tolerance. Intolerance makes enemies of those who should be friends,
destroys opportunity and fills the mind with doubt, mistrust and prejudice.
15. Practicing the Golden Rule will teach you how to make use of the great
universal law of human conduct in such a manner that you may easily get
harmonious co-operation from any individual or group of individuals. The
Golden Rule is essentially, to do unto others, as you would wish them to do
unto you if your positions were reversed.

Titbits from TOLERANCE by Napoleon Hill

THERE are souls in this world which have the gift of finding joy everywhere, and of leaving it behind them everywhere they go.- Faber. “You Can Do It if You Believe You Can!” Intolerance is a form of ignorance which must be mastered before any form of enduring success may be attained It dethrones reason and substitutes mob psychology in its place Intolerance is the chief disintegrating force in the organized religions of the world, where it plays havoc with the greatest power for good there is on this earth; by breaking up that power into small sects and denominations which spend as much effort opposing each other as they do in destroying the evils of the world. Hearts, like doors, can ope with ease, To very, very little keys; And don’t forget that they are these: “I thank you, sir,” and “If you please.” Factors which constitute the chief controlling forces of civilization. One is physical heredity and the other is social heredity The teachers and professors were forced to implant the ideal of “kultur” in the minds of the students, and out of this teaching, in a single generation, grew the capacity for sacrifice of the individual for the interest of the nation which surprised the modern world. IT takes but a second to administer a rebuke, but it may take a life-time for the one who has been rebuked to forget it. The first question we ask about a new acquaintance is not, “Who are you?” but, “What have you?” And the next question we ask is, “How can we get that which you have?”War grows out of the desire of the individual to gain advantage at the expense of his fellow men, and the smoldering embers of this desire are fanned into a flame through the grouping of these individuals who place the interests of the group above those of other groups UNFORTUNATE, in-deed, is the man who becomes so used to evil that it no longer appears to be horrible “Thou shalt not kill!” Greatly begin! though thou have time, But for a line, be that sublime – Not failure, but low aim is crime. it is woman’s nature to subordinate the interests of the present to those of the future. It is woman’s nature to implant, in the mind of the young, ideals that will accrue to the benefit of generations yet unborn, while man is motivated generally by expediency of the present. SINGLENESS of pur-pose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one’s aim. -John D. Rockefeller, Jr. Under the stress of war, that great mass of humanity was reduced to a common level where they fought shoulder to shoulder, side by side, without asking any questions as to each other’s racial tendencies or religious beliefs. We learned from the world war that we cannot destroy a part without weakening the whole; that when one nation or group of people is reduced to poverty and want, the remainder of the world suffers, also. Stated conversely, we learned from the world war that co-operation and tolerance are the very foundation of enduring success Books and lessons, in themselves, are of but little value; their real value, if any, lies not in their printed pages, but in the possible action which they may arouse in the reader. For Any learning > value to you will depend entirely upon the extent to which it stimulates you to think and to act as you would not have done without its influence The chief object of course is to educate, more than it is to inform – meaning by the word “educate” to educe, to draw out! to cause you to use the power that lies sleeping within you, awaiting the awakening hand of some appropriate stimulus to arouse you to action.!! IF a man has built a sound character it makes but little diff-erence what people say about him, because he will win in the end. – Napoleon Hill, Sr.

 

 TOLERANCE! When the dawn of Intelligence shall have spread its wings over the eastern horizon of progress, and Ignorance and Superstition shall have left their last footprints on the sands of Time, it will be recorded in the book of man’s crimes and mistakes that his most grievous sin was that of Intolerance! The bitterest Intolerance grows out of racial and religious differences of opinion, as the result of early childhood training. How long, O Master of Human Destinies, until we poor mortals will understand the folly of trying to destroy one another because of dogmas and creeds and other superficial matters over which we do not agree? Our allotted time on this earth is but a fleeting moment, at most! Like a candle, we are lighted, shine for a moment and flicker out! Why can we not so live during this short earthly sojourn that when the Great Caravan called Death draws up and announces this visit about finished we will be ready to fold our tents, and, like the Arabs of the Desert, silently follow the Caravan out into the Darkness of the Unknown without fear and trembling? I am hoping that I will find no Jews or Gentiles, Catholics or Protestants, Germans or Englishmen, Frenchmen or Russians, Blacks or Whites, Reds or Yellows, when I shall have crossed the Bar to the Other Side. I am hoping I will find there only human Souls, Brothers and Sisters all, unmarked by race, creed or color, far I shall want to be done with Intolerance so I may lie down and rest an æon or two, undisturbed by the strife, ignorance, superstition and petty mis-understandings which mark with chaos and grief this earthly existence.

TAKE AWAYS FROM Success Secrets Of Self-Made Millionaires by Brian Tracy

If you do what other successful people do, you will achieve like results.
• To become a millionaire, follow the practices of other self-made millionaires.
• Dream big dreams, so you have a long-term vision of what you want.
• Think constantly about your goals.
• See yourself as self-employed, do what you love to do and commit yourself to
excellence.
• Be prepared to work longer and harder, to dedicate yourself to lifelong learning and
to become an expert at what you do.
• Serve others, since all self-made millionaires are dedicated to good customer service.
• Develop a reputation for absolute honesty.
• Concentrate on your highest priorities and work quickly and dependably.
• Practice self-discipline and dedicate yourself to continued improvement

Be willing to persist, regardless of diffi culties, disappointments and setback Never give up, no matter what happens. you will be and the more quickly you will advance
Continually learn and improve The three keys to lifelong learning are: 1) Spend at least 30 to 60minutes a day reading in your fi eld; 2) Listen to audio programs in your car, so you learnon the road, and 3) Attend as many courses and seminars in your fi eld as possible
develop a reputation for speed and a bias for action. do it so fast that you amaze them with yourspeed But get it right the very first time
Fear of failure, not failure itself, is the greatest obstacle to success
Get feedback and quickly make any necessary corrections
Learn how to do your work better, so you become an expert in your fi eld. By becomingan expert, you rise to the top.
Permit yourself to dream ‘Big’ about and imagine the kind of life you would like to livePractice back-from-thefuture thinking by projecting yourself forward fi ve years and imagining that you lead an absolutely perfect life
set priorities and focus on achieving them This single-mindedness can be a hard habit todevelop, but you need the will power, self-discipline and personal character to work onyour highest priority until you complete it
Stay focused when you work. Working hard means starting earlier, staying later and working more intensely.
Take 10% from each paycheck you receive and put it into a special account for fi nancial accumulation. Be very frugaland careful with your money. Question all of your expenses, and delay or defer everyimportant buying decision for a week or even a month.
The more people trust you, the more they will be willingto work for you, give you credit, lend you money and buy your products or services. BUILD trust by honesty/sincerity
The more you focus on achieving your goals, solving your problems and answering tough questions, the smarter you will become The three factors that stimulate creativity are intensely desired goals, pressing problems and focused questions
The more you serve other people, the greater your rewards They think about ALL of your CUSTOMERS constantly, and seek new and better ways to serve them.
throw yourself fully into that work ,that  you really like doing
Two factors that have the most effect in determining what happens to you are what you think about most of the time and how you think about it.Do something every day to move closer to your priority goal’HAVE A CLEAR VISION OF YOUR TARGET’
Whatever you choose to do, resolve to be the best Find out What one skill, if you developed it, would have the greatest effect on your life? and go for it
You are responsible for what happens in your life, so if you don’t like something, you areresponsible for changing it BE not only independent but  self-responsible too
You need to be able to use selfmastery, self-control and self-direction and to delay short-term gratifi cation in order to attain long-term success
You will face ups and downs in your life and career, since all businesslife is made up of cycles.  Be like a mountain climber who climbs a peak and must go down into a valley before climbing the next.
you will take on the attitudes, values, behaviors and beliefs of the people around you The more people you know — or who know you in a positive light — the more successful you can be

Do you want to change the way things are in your life?

Did you know that our thoughts create our reality, this explains why we attract and create what we focus on or what we focus on is what we get. Do you want to change the way things are in your life? There are seven Universal Laws – what are they? 1. Law of Manifestation This law attracts what you create. If your consciousness creates your reality, you simply can’t manifest anything that doesn’t already exist inside you. Everything manifests in your consciousness first, so if you see failure and difficulty around you, that’s a product of your mind. If you see abundance and achievement that’s a force of your own too 2. Law of Magnetism This law concerns what you attract, the power of your energy. This law states that we attract the same kind of energy that we put out about ourselves. This is based on the on the quantum physics principle that everything and everyone projects this power. 3. Law of Pure Desire In order to be aligned with this law, your intention must be pure, not manipulative, fear based or desperate. This means your motivations must be genuine, healthy and honouring to yourself and others. This law states that when you’re driven by a pure intention , free of fear, doubt and desperation—you can be certain of a beneficial outcome. 4. Law of Paradoxical Intent If you are desperate to make something happen that repulsive vibration will push it away, turning away the very people and situations that may have bought about your desired outcome. This law reflects the law of magnetism in warning that you will only get a return of your own negative energy. There’s the paradox. 5. Law of Harmony When you consciously choose to create balance and align yourself with the universe, your intention and energy open the floodgates of universal abundance. To live in balance with the world and tap into the river of abundance, you must be in harmony with yourself first. Note here that the most harmonic and successful emotions are love, peace, acceptance and enthusiasm for your own life. 6. Law of Right Action Your energy is self-perpetuating in the world. Value, honour and dignity will increase in your life to the same degree that you promote them in your environment around you. So with each of your choices, ask yourself, “is this honouring to myself and others?” 7. Law of Expanding Influence This law shows that your own energy expands in the world and has influence in your personal arena and in the world at large. So if you want your family to be more peaceful you must create that intention within yourself first. If you want your workers to be more industrious YOU must begin to project that energy in your own life. In the pursuit of success YOU must be honest, enthusiastic, encouraging and supportive. Practice using these laws in your life and watch what happens. Used correctly these laws will be possibly your most powerful allies to assist you to create the life of your choice.

some best self improvement books

The Success Principles byJack Canfield 
The One Minute Manager by Kenneth H  Blanchard
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R  Covey
Principles Of Success Brian Tracy 
Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor E  Frankl
How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie 
Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time by Brian Tracy 
Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny! by Anthony Robbins

top ranking executive coaches

Adler
 Albert A
 Barbara Moses
 Barry Posner
 Bartlett
 Beverly Kaye
 Bill Davidson
 Bobbie Little
 Brian Tracy
 Bruce Pfau
 C K Prahlad
 Christopher A
 Dave Ulrich
 David Allen
 David Giber 39
 Fariborz Ghadar
 Frances Hesselbein
 Gary Ranker
 Gifford Pinchot
 Howard Morgan
 Jay Conger
 Jim Bolt 28
 Jim Kouzes
 Joel Barker
 Joel Garfinkle
 John Alexander
 Judy Rosenblum
 Julie Anixter
 Ken Blanchard
 Ken Siegel
 Kim Barnes
 Leider
 Marian Baker
 Marshall Goldsmith
 Michael Hammer
 Nancy J
 Niko Canner
 Noel M Tichy
 Paul Hersey
 Phil Harkins
 R Roosevelt Thomas Jr
 Richard J
 Richard Strozzi-Heckler
 Robert M
 Sally Helgesen
 Shirley Anderson
 Stratford Sherman
 Vicere
 Vijay Govindarajan
 Warner Burke
 William Bridges

10 THINGS AUTHENTIC LEADERS DO, by Robin Sharma, author of ‘The Saint, The Surfer and The CEO’.

1. They speak their truth-Speaking truth is simply about being clear, being honest and being authentic, and not to say things to please others and to look good in front of The Crowd
2. They lead from the heart. Business is about people-The best leaders wear their hearts on their sleeves and are not afraid to show their vulnerability
3. They have rich moral fiber-They walk their talk and are aligned with their core values.
4. They are courageous -It takes a lot of inner strength to do what you think is right even though it may not be easy.
5. They build teams and create communities -In the new age of work, employees seek their sense of community and connection from the workplace
6. They deepen themselves-They know their weaknesses and play to their strengths
7. They are dreamers -They see what everyone else sees and then dream up new possibilities
8. They care for themselves -You can’t do great things at work if you don’t feel good, Physically, Mentally, Spiritually
9. They commit to excellence rather than perfection -Every single one of us is a work in progress.
10. They leave a legacy -You were made to contribute and to leave a mark on the people around you

Service Rules by Bryan K. Williams Enterprise

Webster’s Dictionary defines service as “work done for others”.

The three service rules are the Golden Rule, Platinum Rule, and Double Platinum Rule.

The Golden Rule
If I want to be treated nicely, then I should treat others nicely…if I want to have doors opened for me, then I should open doors for others…and if I want to be greeted with a big hug and high-five wherever I go, then I should give a big hug and high fives to others right?….Not so fast, it is a good baseline to have when developing the empathy muscle, it “only works when other people want to be treated the way you want to be treated”. Otherwise, you may end up turning people off.  Why wouldn’t everyone want to hear the evening news in a taxicab? The point here is that if you are committed to creating an exceptional service experience for each customer, then each customer’s wants, needs, and desires have to be acknowledged, celebrated, and acted upon.   Each time a customer, guest, or patient chooses to be served by you, they are basically saying “I’ve chosen you…now show me why I made the right decision”.

The Platinum Rule
It is about what your customers want and states, “Treat others the way THEY want to be treated”.  This rule means that you recognize that service is not about what you want to give; it’s about what others want to receive. If you give me what I don’t want, then you haven’t increased your value in my eyes. There must be a deliberate effort to uncover your customer’s wants, needs, and desires in order to take the guess work out of the equation.
It doesn’t matter if you “know what you’re talking about”. If you haven’t captured information to support your hypotheses, then it’s considered anecdotal. Once you confidently know what your customers want (because they’ve told you in various implicit and explict subtle forms), then you can proceed with meeting and exceeding those expectations.  After all, when it comes to service, what else can be more important than giving customers what they want?

The Double Platinum Rule
As I was leaving the store, the manager stopped me to ask if I got everything I wanted.
The attendant had given me what I wanted, but I was still upset.  So the Double Platinum rule is (you guessed it), “treat others the way they don’t even know they want to be treated”. To boil it down…anticipate, anticipate, anticipate. Don’t just meet your customer’s expectations, EXCEED them.

Grounding your service strategy in the three Universal Service Rules works well, because it heightens your empathy (Golden Rule), encourages a keen focus on your customer’s expectations (Platinum Rule), and challenges you to consistently think of ways to exceed those expectations (Double Platinum Rule).

For any service provider to remain relevant in today’s marketplace, it is critical to not just react to customer expectations, but to actively solicit them as well. If the customer doesn’t deem it as service, then it is not service .premise of “service is about what the customer wants”, will be a JUST BE A great starting point for success.

Sorry to say…but some people should not be serving other human beings

The prevailing wisdom from many organizations is that any person can be hired to serve. Given the right tools, training, and coaching opportunities, they too can become a service-delivering superstar. Not so. Being service-minded requires the presence of certain innate talents; namely, “caring”, “empathy”, “relationship building”, and the list goes on. As you’ve probably observed, some individuals are naturally good at those things, while for others it seems like such talents were surgically removed at birth. That is not to say that in order to be successful, one must be caring or friendly. It just means that “service” may not be their best opportunity to maximize their effectiveness 

If you take employees who do not like to serve people, and tell them exactly how the very best service professionals do it, they still won’t like to serve people. It is not about “knowing” what to do, it has to do with genuinely, spontanously,voluntarily wanting to be of service. 

Just last week, for example, I was in a well known electronics store.The “customer service” agent was standing right in front of me but blatantly ignored me…he pretended that I did not exist. I went to another store.I patiently waited approximately six feet away so I could be close enough to be seen but far enough to not impose.He might also be another candidate for the “Do not serve other human beings” award.I, the customer, should not have to see, deal with, or tolerate such blatant service tragedies, whatever be the reason for such behaviour be the personnel /stores.

“How can my organization prevent such scenarios from occurring?” The first potent answer is to select for service talent,means more than hiring nice people.It means that probing and open-ended questions are asked about what the candidate is passionate about, what they enjoy most at work, and how have they exceeded (not just met) expectations in the past. The ideal responses should revolve around helping, assisting, or serving other people. An alternative to selecting for talent is to select for values.For instance, if one of your organization’s top values is responsiveness, then try to select (not “hire”) people that at are very responsive.’

Have a discussion with your staff (individually if possible) and find out what are their true talents Find out who enjoys serving the customer, who enjoys problem resolution (and yes, there are some people who LOVE problem resolution), who enjoys dealing with numbers, who enjoys organizing projects, etc. Give everyone ample opportunity to do what they do best with constant support, feedback, and recognition. Some people that have been labeled as a “bad apple” may just be in the wrong role. Above all, to enhance service excellence, you must talk about service excellence, model service excellence and reward service excellence at every given opportunity.

If you run a Hotel or Restaurant, To Engage the Guest, You Must Engage  Those Who Directly Serve the Guest

For your employees, being engaged transcends showing up to work and doing what they are supposed to do.  It goes beyond constantly being on time and never calling in sick.  More than anything, engagement is much more than being “satisfied” at work.  Being engaged is synonymous with truly living the culture of the workplace.  It is about genuinely enjoying the opportunity to be a part of the organization and noticeably excited about contributing in a significant way, everyday.  Engaged employees are your role models; the ones that you’d like to multiply and replicate throughout your company.  They are the ones who constantly look for ways to exceed your expectations, and consistently delight customers with their urgency, inclusiveness, and follow through.  Basically, when you go to work and see that your engaged employee is working, you breathe a sigh of relief, because you know that your day will be significantly more successful

Have a townhall meeting to solicit their input on what the organization should consider as priorities in the future.  Hold mini focus-groups with a healthy cross-section of your best line staff The sharing of best practices is one of the most underutilized practices in many companies.Shine a spotlight on what currently works so that everyone will know exactly what you mean when the term “excellence” is used.  By the way, this also encourages your best people to continue churning out more best practices…which is always a great thing Believe it or not, your employees, like everyone else, have what’s called “tacit” knowledge.  Tacit knowledge means knowing something without openly expressing it. Chances are that Employee A has knowledge about the company’s “real way of doing things” that newer employees don’t have; including you and other managers. Employee A has also accumulated a wealth of insight into what initiatives have not worked, and why they haven’t. Trust me, the mere fact that you are seeking their expertise will earn you major points and will simultaneously help to engage them.  You should be able to walk up to any of your employees and ask about the company’s mission and get a clear, confident answer Furthermore, they should also be able to articulate how their department’s goals are aligned with the company’s goals The key here is to link, link, link. Link company goals to department goals, and link employee goals to department goals Employees in those organizations know exactly what makes their company unique, and they also know that their individual contributions are needed and valued John Maxwell once wrote that teams can make adjustments when they know where they stand. The key points are that the “scores” should be accessible and they need to be easily understood   Extract the data that is most relevant to that department and also show a few overall metrics that everyone affects (like Overall Satisfaction & Likelihood to Recommend).  Make use of every opportunity to connect with your workforce For engagement to take place, employees must feel like the company cares about them as individuals and genuinely wants to see them succeed.  You can’t fake it; employees know when it’s not genuine.
Involvement equals more engagement.  Solicitation of ideas equals more engagement.  Linking personal goals to department and company goals equals more engagement.  Regular two-way communication equals more engagement. People like to be involved in the planning of the work that affects them.  They crave it; even if they don’t verbalize it all the time.  So tap into their expertise and they will appreciate you and the organization for it.  The end result will be an army of engaged employees whose sole mission is to engage all of your customers all the time

To put it plainly, people should be treated the way they deserve to be treated.

Bryan K. Williams Enterprise, focuses on service excellence. The goal is to assist organizations, in various industries, to enhance their levels of customer service to world-class levels by  weaving Service excellence throughout the organization…at every level.

PRINCIPLES OF ATTRACTION

1. BECOME INCREDIBLY SELFISH. WITHOUT YOU, THERE IS NOTHING, AND ATTRACTION ISN’T POSSIBLE.
2. UNHOOK YOURSELF FROM THE FUTURE. ATTRACTION WORKS IN THE PRESENT, NOT IN THE FUTURE.
3. OVERRESPOND TO EVERY EVENT. BY OVER-RESPONDING INSTEAD OF OVERREACTING, YOU EVOLVE,  WHICH IS VERY ATTRACTIVE.
4. BUILD A SUPERRESERVE IN EVERY AREA. HAVING ENOUGH IS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BE IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE.
5. ADD VALUE JUST FOR THE JOY OF IT. WHEN YOU ADD VALUE BECAUSE YOU ENJOY IT, PEOPLE ARE NATURALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU.
6. AFFECT OTHERS PROFOUNDLY. THE MORE YOU TOUCH OTHERS, THE MORE ATTRACTIVE YOU’LL BECOME.
7. MARKET YOUR TALENTS SHAMELESSLY. IF YOU’RE EMBARRASSED ABOUT WHAT YOU DO WELL, YOU WON’T BE VERY ATTRACTIVE.
8. BECOME IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE TO  YOURSELF.HOW CAN YOU ATTRACT OTHERS IF YOU DON’T FEEL IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE TO YOURSELF?
9. GET A FULFILLING LIFE, NOT JUST AN IMPRESSIVE LIFESTYLE. A GREAT LIFE IS ATTRACTIVE; A LIFESTYLE IS USUALLY SEDUCTIVE.
10. DELIVER TWICE WHAT YOU PROMISE.WHEN YOU CONSISTENTLY DELIVER MORE THAN WAS EXPECTED, NEW CUSTOMERS ARE DRAWN TO YOU.
11. CREATE A VACUUM THAT PULLS YOU FORWARD. BEING PULLED FORWARD IS ATTRACTIVE; PUSHING FORWARD IS NOT.
12. ELIMINATE DELAY. TIME IS EXPENSIVE AND THUS IS VERY UNATTRACTIVE.
13. GET YOUR PERSONAL NEEDS MET, ONCE AND FOR ALL. IF YOU HAVE UNMET NEEDS, YOU’LL ATTRACT OTHERS IN THE SAME POSITION.
14. THRIVE ON THE DETAILS. SUBTLETIES, DETAILS AND NUANCES ARE MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN THE OBVIOUS.
15. TOLERATE NOTHING. WHEN YOU PUT UP WITH SOMETHING, IT COSTS YOU. COSTS ARE EXPENSIVE AND THUS UNATTRACTIVE.
16. SHOW OTHERS HOW TO PLEASE YOU. DON’T MAKE THEM GUESS.
17. ENDORSE YOUR WORST WEAKNESSES. WHEN YOU CAN ACCEPT AND HONOR THE WORST PART OF YOURSELF, YOU ARE MORE ACCEPTING OF OTHERS.
18. SENSITIZE YOURSELF. THE MORE YOU FEEL, THE MORE YOU’LL NOTICE AND RESPOND TO THE MANY OPPORTUNITIES IN THE PRESENT.
19. PERFECT YOUR ENVIRONMENT. THE ATTRACTION OS IS A SOPHISTICATED SYSTEM THAT REQUIRES A FIRST-CLASS ENVIRONMENT.
20. DEVELOP MORE CHARACTER THAN YOU NEED. INTEGRITY IS NOT ENOUGH TO BECOME IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE.
21. SEE HOW PERFECT THE PRESENT REALLY IS. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS CLEARLY NOT.
22. BECOME UNCONDITIONALLY CONSTRUCTIVE. HIGH LEVELS OF RESPECT ARE VERY ATTRACTIVE.
23. ORIENT EXCLUSIVELY AROUND YOUR VALUES. WHEN YOU SPEND YOUR DAYS DOING WHAT FULFILLS YOU, YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE.
24. SIMPLIFY EVERYTHING. ABANDONING THE NON-ESSENTIALS LEAVES MORE ROOM FOR YOU TO ATTRACT.
25. MASTER YOUR CRAFT. BEING THE BEST AT WHAT YOU DO IS THE EASIEST WAY TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL.
26. RECOGNIZE AND TELL THE TRUTH. THE TRUTH IS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE THING OF ALL, BUT IT REQUIRES SKILLS AND AWARENESS.
27. HAVE A VISION. WHEN YOU CAN SEE WHAT’S COMING, YOU DON’T NEED TO CREATE A FUTURE.
28. BE MORE HUMAN. WHEN YOU ARE GENUINE, YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE.

Jack Welch’s Leadership Secrets

IGNITING A REVOLUTION: STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH CHANGE
7 Keep Watch for Ways to Create Opportunities and to Become More Competitive
8 Be Number One or Number Two and Keep Redefining Your Market
9 Downsize, Before It’s Too Late!
10 Use Acquisitions to Make the Quantum Leap!
11 Learning Culture I: Use Boundarylessness and Empowerment to Nurture a Learning Culture
12 Learning Culture II: Inculcate the Best Ideas into the Business, No Matter Where They Come From
13 The Big Winners in the  Twenty-first Century Will Be Global
REMOVING THE BOSS ELEMENT: PRODUCTIVITY SECRETS FOR CREATING THE BOUNDARYLESS ORGANIZATION
14 De-Layer: Get Rid of the Fat!
15 Spark Productivity Through the ‘‘S’’ Secrets (Speed, Simplicity, and Self-Confidence)
16 Act Like a Small Company
17 Remove the Boundaries!
18 Unleash the Energy of Your Workers
19 Listen to the People Who  Actually Do the Work
20 Go Before Your Workers and Answer All Their Questions
NEXT GENERATION LEADERSHIP: INITIATIVES FOR DRIVING AND SUSTAINING DOUBLE-DIGIT GROWTH
21 Stretch: Exceed Your Goals as Often as You Can
22 Make Quality a Top Priority
23 Make Quality the Job of Every Employee
24 Make Sure Everyone Understands How Six Sigma Works
25 Make Sure the Customer Feels Quality
26 Grow Your Service Business: It’s the Wave of the Future
27 Take Advantage of E-Business Opportunities
28 Make Existing Businesses Internet-Ready—Don’t Assume That New Business Models Are the Answer
29 Use E-Business to Put the Final Nail in Bureaucracy

leadership by Jim Collins

Jim Collins ends this “pre-quel” to “Built To Last” with these remarks: “Indeed the real question is not, “Why greatness?” but “what work makes you feel compelled to try to create greatness?” If you have to ask the question, “why should we try to make it great? Isn’t success enough?” then you’re probably engaged in the wrong line of work.” And “Perhaps your quest to be part of building something great will not fall in your business life…. Get involved in something that you care so much about that you want to make it the greatest it can possibly be…. When you do this, you will start to grow, inevitably, toward becoming a great leader.”

 

Disciplined People
·  Level 5 Leadership: leaders characterized as a paradoxical blend of humility and
professional will; they were cited as being more like Lincoln and Socrates than Patton or
Caesar.
·  First Who . . . Then What: supports the theory that before good-to-great leaders set a new
vision and strategy, they FIRST get the right people on the bus, the wrong people off the bus,
and the right people in the right seats. THEN they figure out where to drive it. In this
context, “people are your most important asset” turns out to be wrong. People are NOT your
most important asset; the RIGHT people are.
·  Disciplined Thought
·  Confront the Brutal Facts (Yet Never Loss Faith): Every good-to-great company embraced
what Collin’s titled “The Stockdale Paradox.” They maintained unwavering faith that they
could and would prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties, AND at the same time had
the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of their current reality, whatever that might
have been.
·  The HedgeHog Concept (Simplicity Within the Three Circles): Going from good-to-great
transcends the curse of competence. If you cannot be the best in the world at your core
business, then your core business absolutely cannot form the basis of a great company. It
must be replaced by a simple concept that reflects deep understanding of three intersecting
circles.
·  Disciplined Action
·  A Culture of Discipline: When you have disciplined people you don’t need hierarchy; when
you have disciplined thought you don’t need bureaucracy; when you have disciplined action
you don’t need excessive controls. When you combine a culture of discipline with an ethic of
entrepreneurship, you get the magical alchemy of great performance.
·  Technology Accelerators: Good-to-great companies think differently about the role of
technology; they never use technology as the primary means of igniting a transformation.
Yet, paradoxically, they are pioneers in the application of carefully selected technologies

 

 

A Level 5 Leader is a Highly Capable Individual who became a Contributing Team Member who became a Competent Manager who became an Effective Leader who finally became the Level 5 Executive.

Level 5 Leaders:
• Are ambitious and driven – first for their company and last for themselves.
• Set the stage for their successors through development and delegation vs. surrounding themselves with “yessirs” and perhaps, eventual dangerous leadership voids.
• Embody a paradoxical mix of personal humility and ironclad professional will.
• Display modesty and understanding verses egocentrism.
• Are fanatically driven, infected with an incurable need to produce sustained results.
• Are more plow horses than show horses
• Have the ability to attribute success to factors external to themselves yet carry full responsibility for failures. Many executives in comparison companies do the exact opposite by taking all the credit for success assign blame for failure to any one but themselves. Level 5 Leaders often attribute their success to good luck not to their personal greatness.
• Are anything but celebrity executives. Most eschew the limelight and lead very private and modest lives. Dazzling celebrity leaders are too egocentric, short sighted and undisciplined to create sustained excellence in the long run

Get the right people on the bus before you do anything else. And once you think the right people are on the bus, make sure they are in their proper seats. What makes them the right people is that they have shared interests, the right energy and are eager to head in the direction the bus is going. If all the priority seats are taken and there’s no more room, then some riders will just have to get off. It may be an uncomfortable situation to reassign or eliminate them but it must be done
Based on the ancient Greek parable, “the fox knows many things, the hedgehog knows one big thing”. The hedgehog wins out over the fox’s continuing manipulations by constantly rolling into a ball with protruding spikes fending off attack after attack.the hedgehog takes one guiding principle, concept, process and sees a complex world become manageable …constantly utilizing a conceptual approach that is successful.
Hedgehog Concept : 1. What you can be the best at and what you cannot be the best at in the world. (Circle 1) 2. Exactly what generates and sustains robust cash flow and profitability. (Circle 2) 3. What you are deeply passionate about. (Circle 3)
You have to bring in the Right People riding your bus who all represent the 3 Circles in their thinking and who are:
• Talented with God-given gifts or who have become talented, • Capable of vigorous debate and dialogue. • Well paid for what they are doing. • Doing what they are deeply passionate about. • No ego. • Represent a range of perspectives and knowledge. • Key members of the executive team but others as well who fit the criteria. Not • every member of the executive team is automatically included. 
Institute “The Council” of individuals selected based on the above criteria, whose purpose is to ensure accountabilities by doing the following: • Ask Questions Based on the 3 Circles • Dialogue and Debate Based on the 3 Circles • Execute Decisions Based on the 3 Circles • Execute Autopsies and Analysis Based on the 3 Circles 
Then one step at a time, like applying discrete bits of effort on a huge flywheel, the energy of wheel begins to turn. Everything in the company slowly begins to move in the same deliberate direction until the breakthrough moment where sustained success happens without increasing effort,companies practiced the time-honored discipline of under promising and over delivering.The basic idea is that each piece of the system reinforces the other parts of the system to form an integrated whole that is much more powerful than the sum of the parts.

One Minute Teacher By Spencer Johnson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One Minute Teacher: How to Teach Others to Teach Themselves By Spencer Johnson, M.D. and Constance Johnson, M.Ed.

One Minute Goal Setting:

 

 

 

 

Using the steps below, encourage your clients to set goals for themselves and take one minute a few times a day to look at their goals. 1. I take the time to quietly think, with my head and my heart about what I want to teach myself. And then I decide what my goals are. 2. I write my goals in first person, present tense, as though 

 

I am already  achieving my goals. (For example: “I am enjoying getting a B in math.”) 3. I write down my goals briefly, so I can read them often in only one minute. 4. I am specific when writing my goal. I set a date to achieve my goal. (For example: “I am enjoying a B on this Thursday’s English exam.”) 5. I use good-feeling words. (For example: I enjoy….) Each time I read my goal, I imagine how good I feel

. 6. I take one minute, several times a day, to stop and look at my goals and to look at my behavior—and then I see if my behavior matches my goals.

One Minute Praisings

Encourage your clients to reflect on or catch themselves doing something right by following these steps: 1. I praise myself  

immediately. 2. As soon as I have done something right, I tell myself  specifically  what I did right, or approximately right. 3. I tell myself how good I  feel   about what I did right. I pause for a few seconds to really feel my success. 4. I remind myself that I am indeed a good person. 5. I encourage myself to continue the same good behavior because I want to feel good again soon— about my behavior and about myself.

One Minute Recovery:

When a client’s behavior does not align with his/her own goals, encourage the client to practice the One Minute Recovery:

 

The first half of the minute: 1. As soon as possible I see when my behavior does not match my goal. 2. I tell myself specifically what I did wrong—what is keeping me from teaching myself what I want to learn. 3. I am silent for a few seconds to quietly feel my “fumble.” The more uncomfortable I feel, the more I want to recover.

The second half of the minute: 1. I remind myself that my behavior is not good right now, but that I am good. I redirect my behavior and feel good about myself. I do not defend my behavior, even to myself. 2. I teach myself what I want to learn. I change my behavior and recover.

Brian Tracy – Principles Of Success

  1. • A Balanced Life
  2. • Becoming A Person Of Integrity
  3. • Cultivating Your Self-Esteem
  4. • Empowering Others
  5. • Everyone’s A Sales Person
  6. • Gaining Visibility
  7. • Generating Energy
  8. • Leading & Motivating
  9. • Make Every Minute Count
  10. • Making The Most Of Change
  11. • Managing Your Time
  12. • Setting Priorities
  13. • The Power Of Charisma
  14. • The Power Of Positive Self Talk

briantracy

Customs and Rituals in Hindu way of Life

Most of the Hindu customs are acts followed with a feeling of religiosity. From the cradle to the cremation ground, and for a time even after the body has been cremated the life of a Hindu is a round of customary rituals and ceremonies known as samskaras (sacraments). Regarding the exact number of these samskaras there is a great divergence of views among the smrti writers [ Ancient Hindu law-givers such as Manu, Gautama, Yajnavalkya and others.]. According to some, sixteen samskaras, as they are nitya (usual) must be performed, and the rest twenty-four as they are naimittika (special) ones are left to choice. They are observed by almost all castes, with the use of Vedic text by Brahmans and others, and with Pauranic text by the rest. The chief of these customary rituals are those at birth, thread-girding, marriage, pregnancy and death. The garbhadhana (girl-wife’s coming of age) ceremony, which used to be once performed separately and with great pomp as then girls were married at an early age, has now become a part of the marriage rite and receives scant attention.

Birth.

For her first confinement the young wife generally goes to her parents’ house. It is her privilege to do so. As a rule a pregnant woman is given whatever food she desires for and her longings (dohale) are noticed and promptly satisfied by the family elders. She is, however, advised to abstain from abnormally hot or hard- to-digest food. At the inception of labour-pains she repairs to an inner chamber in the house which has been swept clean and kept warm, dim-lighted and free from draught. A midwife generally known to the family and reputed for her skill in midwifery is called in and she attends the parturient from then onwards for ten or more days. The delivery usually takes place on the floor, no cot being used. After delivery, the position of the mother is not changed for some time. If the child is a boy the midwife beats a metal dish and the joyful news is carried to friends and kinsfolk with distribution of packets of sugar. When parturition is delayed so to cause anxiety, it is still a practice among the ignorant to solicit help of bhagats or mantriks for their esoteric charms or specific prescriptions. As soon as the child is born cold water is sprinkled over it to ‘awaken’ it. After a while the midwife ties the child’s umbilical cord with a cotton thread a few inches away from the navel and severs it with a knife, touches the wound with ashes and lays the child on a supa (winnowing fan). She then rubs the mother and child with turmeric and oil, bathes them with hot water, swathes the child in cloth bandages and leaves them to rest on a cot under which a small fire of live coals is set. The mother is given butter and myrrh pills, and the child is dosed with a few drops of castor oil and honey. Myrrh-incense is burnt and waved all over and the mother is purified with a fumigation of Vavding (Embelia ribes) and Balant-shopa (anise) in the room. All visitors sprinkle some drops of cow’s urine on their feet before entering the lying-in room as a precaution against evil spirits trying to enter with them. The after-birth is put in an earthen pot with a pice, a little turmeric and red powder, and buried in a hole dug outside the mother’s room and near the bath-water drain. The mother starts suckling the child only from the fourth day and the child is for the first three days nursed by giving it the end of a rag resting in a saucer of rice-broth and molasses to suck. During the period the mother is fed on saltless vegetarian diet. On the fourth day the mother and the child undergo a special bath and thence the mother starts suckling the child, herself taking to a full nutritious diet.

Panchavi and Sathi.

The first ritual as such in an infant’s life comes on the night of the fifth or sixth day after birth. The ceremony is known as the worship of Pancavi (Mother Fifth) and Sathi (Mother Sixth) and is observed among all communities. It is not a Vedic samskara and as such the configuration worshipped and the offerings made differ according to region, community and family. But a common belief exists that those nights are full of danger to the new-born child, and only by worshipping Mother Fifth and Sixth can the child be saved from convulsive seizures and most other forms of disease which are believed to be the work of evil spirits lurking in the lying-in room to attack the child.

The mother is held impure for ten days and no one except the midwife touches her. The family observes suher (ceremonial impurity) for the period. On the eleventh day the mother and the child are given a purificatory hath, their clothes washed and the whole house is cleaned. The walls and the ground of the lying-in room are smeared with a mixture of cowdung and water, the bathing place is washed and turmeric, red powder, flowers and lighted lamp are laid near it. The midwife is presented with a lugade, coli and money. The mother is cleansed of the impurity by a sprinkle of pancagavya or tulasi water, and men change their sacred thread. Many of these practises, however, get naturally avoided in case the woman has her delivery in a modern nursing home or lying-in hospital which now-a-days forms part of urban life and necessity.

In rural parts the mother worships the well when she goes thereto fetch water for the first time after her parturition. She offers turmeric and red powder to the well, makes obeisance and returns home with a well-cleaned pot filled with water.

The Naming.

The barse or naming ceremony which is generally held on the 12th day in the evening after birth is an important event in the child’s life. The karnavedha (boring of the ear-lobes) ceremony may take place in the morning that day or it may be postponed to the sixth or twelfth month. In the evening women neighbours, friends and kinswomen who are invited to attend the naming drop in, each with a present for the child and the mother. The child is then ceremonially cradled and named and the function closes with the distribution of boiled gram and packets of sweetmeat to the assembled.

Chaula.

The next ritual consists of the hair-cutting ceremony known as caula or cudakarana as mentioned in the Hindu Samskaras. It is also customary with many Hindu backward communities to give ceremonial attention to the first shaving or cutting of the child’s hair (javal) and is based on the belief that the hair with which the child is born are impure. At present among Brahmans the rite is usually gone through in the case of boys at the time of upanayana (thread-girding).

Among the well-to-do it is customary to celebrate the child’s birthday every month during the first year and then annually for some years. Even the various stages of development in the child, such as, learning to turn on one side, crawling, sitting, standing, etc., are sometimes celebrated by the family with feasting.

Thread-girding.

The thread-girding ceremony or munja as it is popularly known is a samskara prescribed for all Hindus claiming a place in the first three varnas (caste-groups). In essence it is a purificatory rite initiating a boy to bramhacaryasram (stage of student-hood). In Kolaba the castes besides Brahmans which are supposed to gird their boys with sacred thread are Prabhus and Sonars. Recently the ceremony is found to have been observed by Varus. Marathas generally are not known to perform the ceremony but some wear the sacred thread renewing it yearly in the month of Sravana. The Caukalshis wear the sacred thread during the marriage ceremony but at no other time.

On going through this ceremony the boy becomes a brahmacari (an unwed religious student) and from then one should pursue Vedic study at the feet of his guru for some years, completing which, should undergo the samavartana (return) ceremony. But, as the present custom goes, the samavartana or the sod-munj ceremony as it is called, follows the thread-girding without much lapse of time, the whole ceremony coming to a close within a day.

In order to convey an idea of the rites of upanayana in the days of the grhya sutras the ceremony as contained in the Asv. gr. sutra (which is among the shortest) is set out here in full: “Let him initiate the boy who is decked, whose hair (on the head) is shaved (and arranged), who wears a new garment or an antelope skin if a brahman, ruru skin if a ksatriya, goat’s skin if a vaisya; if they put on garments they should put on dyed ones, reddish-yellow, red and yellow (for a brahmana, ksatriya, vaisya respectively), they should have girdles and staffs (as described above). While the boy takes hold of (the hand of) his teacher, the latter offers (a homa of clarified butter oblations) in the fire (as described above) and seats himself to the north of the fire with his face turned to the east, while the other one (the boy) stations himself in front (of the teacher) with his face turned to the west. The teacher then fills the folded hands of both himself and of the boy with water and with the verse ‘we choose that of Savitr’ (Rg. V. 82.1) the teacher drops down the water in his own folded hands on to the water in the folded hands of the boy; having thus poured the water, he should seize with his own hand the boy’s hand together with the thumb (of the boy) with the formula ‘by the urge (or order) of the god Savitr, with the arms of the two Asvins, with the hands of Pusan, I seize thy hand, oh! so and so; with the words ‘Savitr has seized thy hand, oh so and so’ a second time (the teacher seizes the boy’s hand); with the words ‘Agni is thy teacher oh so and so’ a third time. The teacher should cause (the boy) to look at the sun, while the teacher repeats ‘God Savitr! this is thy brahmacari, protect him, may he not die’ and (the teacher should further) say ‘Whose brahmacari art thou? thou art the brahmacari of Prana. Who does initiate thee and whom (does he initiate?) I give thee to Ka (to Prajapati). With the half verse (Rg. III 8.4.) ‘the young man, well attired and dressed, came hither’ he (the teacher) should cause him to turn round to the right and with his two hands placed over (the boy’s) shoulders he should touch the place of the boy’s heart repeating the latter half (of Rg. III. 8.4). Having wiped the ground round the fire the brahmacri should put (on the fire) a fuel stick silently, since it is known (from sruti) ‘what belongs to Prajapati is silently (done)’, and the brahmacari belongs to Prajapati. Some do this (offering of a fuel stick) with a mantra ‘to Agni I have brought a fuel stick, to the great Jatavedas; by the fuel stick mayst thou increase, Oh Agni and may we (increase) through brahman (prayer or spiritual lore), svaha’. Having put the fuel stick (on the fire) and having touched the fire, he (the student) thrice wipes off his face with the words ‘I anoint myself with lustre.’ ‘May Agni bestow on me, insight, offspring and lustre; on me may Indra bestow insight, offspring and vigour (indriya); on me may the sun bestow insight, offspring and radiance; what thy lustre is, Oh Agni, may I thereby become strong; what thy consuming power is, Oh Agni may I thereby acquire consuming power. Having waited upon (worshipped) Agni with these formulas, (the student) should bend his knees, embrace (the teacher’s feet) and say to him ‘recite, Sir, recite, Sir, the Savitri’. Seizing the student’s hands with the upper garment (of the student) and his own hands the teacher recites the Savitri, first pada by pada, then hemistich by hemistich (and lastly) the whole verse. He (the “teacher) should make him (the student) recite (the Savitri) as much as he is able. On the place of the student’s heart the teacher lays his hand with the fingers upturned; may Brhaspati appoint thee unto me’. Having tied the girdle mind follow my mind; may you attend on my words single minded; may Brhaspati appoint thee unto me’. Having tied the girdle round him (the boy) and having given him the staff, the teacher should instruct him in the observances of a brahmacari with the words ‘a brahmacari art thou, sip water, do service, do not sleep by day, depending (completely) on the teacher learn the Veda’. He (the student) should beg (food) in the evening and the morning; he should put a fuel stick (on fire) in the evening and the morning. That (which he has received by begging) he should announce to the teacher; he should not sit down (but should be standing) the rest of the day.” [P. V. Kane, History of Dharmahastra, Vol. II, Part 1, p. 281.]

Marriage.

Hindus consider vivaha (marriage) as one of the sarirasam-skaras (sacraments sanctifying the body) through each of which every man and woman must pass at the proper age and time, and as such they think it is obligatory on every person to marry. As a sacrament a marriage can be established only after undergoing certain rites and ceremonies, and these marriage rituals, at least among the higher castes are the same as elsewhere with minor variations. The present-day customs and ceremonial practices observed by Hindus regarding marriage fall in three broad classes, viz., (1) The traditional form generally used by professional priests for conducting marriage ceremonies of Brahmans and allied Classes. It is mainly based on rites prescribed in the grhyasutras and in it Vedic mantras are freely used. (2) The pauranika form which is essentially the same as (1) but in it Puranic mantras instead of Vedic ones are used. (3) Modern forms which are variants of (1) and (2) and preached by sponsors of movements of reformism or revivalism among the people [ Following instituted bodies are known to have preached such forms:- (1) Arya Samaj, (2) Prarthana Samaj, (3) Satya Shodhak Samaj, (4) Hindu Dharma Nirnaya Mandal, and (5) Hindu Missionary Society.]. Even when the ceremony is celebrated in the traditional way, the general tendency now-a-days, is towards curtailing ritualistic details to the extent of winding up the ceremony in a day or two thereby aligning it with the modern form.

A marriage alliance is arranged or settled generally by the parents or guardians of the groom and the bride concerned, and as Kanyadana or giving a daughter in marriage is considered meritorious among the higher castes, it is always the bride’s parents or relatives that take the initiative in the match-making. Social conditions, however, among advanced classes have now changed a great deal. Among them a practice of letting the would be couple to go for a walk and be together to know each other is followed. But this is an innovation and not the people’s custom. The custom of consulting and comparing horoscopes of the girl and the boy is gradually falling into disuse, as the parents of the couple hold that considerations of dowry or good looks are more important than the agreement of stars, and settle the marriages according to the pritivivaha or love form in which no consultation of horoscopes is required. Monetary considerations almost invariably dominate a marriage settlement. But regarding it no uniform rule prevails. Some castes put a price on the bride, others on the bridegroom and there are some who do not put a price on either of the two. Generally among higher castes hunda (dowry or property which a woman brings to her husband) is paid by. the bride’s parents to the bridegroom. Among castes not in the first flight the bride’s parents usually take deja (bride-price). It may be noted here that the dowry demanded from the bride’s father is under the guise of vara daksina-money the donee receives from the donor to fulfil the purpose of a dana (gift). In some communities, especially among the middle class educated families of the Kayastha Prabhus in the district, dowry forms a supervening consideration in a marriage settlement. Among high class Marathas marriage is very costly. The bride’s father must give a large dowry to the bridegroom, and in return the bridegroom’s father must present valuable ornaments to the bride. Even the well-to-do gets harassed if he has many daughters. In proportion to the position of the family, the father has to spend on his daughter’s marriage, running into debt from which he seldom frees himself.

Marriage Rules.

According to the orthodox way of life there exist a number of restrictions on a marriage selection. Rules of endogamy (i.e., rules restricting marriage within the group) prohibit marriage outside the caste or sub-caste; rules of exogamy which operate within the endogamous group prohibit marriage between sapindas (blood relations), sagotras and sapravaras (same eponymous groups). Brahmans and allied communities generally claim gotras and pravaras and abide by gotra and pravara exogamy. Non-Brahman communities have kuli (stock), devak (totem) and surnames as exogamous divisions. Maratha families have devaks or sacred symbols, which appear to have been originally totems, and affect marriage to the extent that a man cannot marry a woman whose devak reckoned on the male side is the same as his own. The religious restriction on sapindas is extended to seven degrees on the father’s side and five degrees on the mother’s side, but the prohibited degrees of kindred for marriage beyond the agnates (related on the father’s side) vary according to the custom of the community. Marriages among families of the same gotra are now made permissible under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, but marriages among, sapindas are totally prohibited by law as well as by custom. As regards cross-cousin unions, except that of the brother’s daughter with the sister’s son which is tolerated or even preferred among some castes other types are generally disallowed. Marriage with a wife’s sister is allowed, and brothers may marry girls who are sisters. Polygamy, which was once allowed and practised, is now prohibited by law [Social usage in relation to these marriage rules is being considerably affected by recent legal enactments, namely, (1) the Child Marriage Restraints Act of 1929, as amended by Act XIX of 1938, which prohibits marriage of boys under 18 years of age, and girls under 14 years of age; (2) the Hindu Marriage Disabilities Removal Act (XXVIII of 1946), which validates marriages between parties (a) belonging to the same gotra or pravara or (b) belonging to different sub-divisions of the same caste; and now the extensive alterations made by legislation embodied in the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, abrogates and over-rides all the rules of Hindu Law concerning marriage previously applicable to Hindus.].

Wedding.

When primary negotiations are complete the formal ceremonies of vadhu pariksa (inspection of the bride) and sakharpuda (betrothal) are gone through. On an auspicious day a select party on the boy’s side arrange to visit the girl’s house with due notice, and there at a tea-party on interviewing the girl make her a present of an ornament and new cloth (sadi, etc.,) and distribute sweets among the assembled as a mark of their approval. The fathers of the bride and the bridegroom settle the dowry (vara daksina) and the presents (varopacara) to be given to the bridegroom by the bride’s father. These items may be entered into an agreement and its copies marked with kunkum and exchanged between the two fathers. The muhurta auspicious day and hour for the wedding, is then determined. and fixed giving due consideration to the tdrdbala, candrabala (i.e., the happy and powerful influence of the birth-stars) of the wedding couple.

The friends and relations of the bride and the bridegroom now start giving each kelvan (congratulatory) feasts. Lagna-mandaps, marriage pandals, are erected at both the houses. Printed invitation cards or letters are distributed or posted, and a formal invitation ceremony and procession called aksat may take place a day or two before the marriage. Halad, i.e., besmearing the boy and the girl with turmeric powder is considered as an important ceremony among the lpwer castes.

On the marriage day or on the day previous, as a prelude to the vivaha (wedlock) ceremony a number of propitiatory rites are gone through both at the bride’s and the bridegroom’s. Punyahavacana (holy day blessing) which is conjoined with devakasthapana (guardian-enshrining) and in which the boy and his parents (and the girl and her parents at the girl’s house) participate is performed at about seven in the morning. This is followed by nandi-sraddha, an auspicious rite requesting the spirits of the forefathers to be present in the house and bless the wedding, and mandapa-devata pratistha, i.e., establishing the booth-spirits. When the time for marriage draws near, the girl’s father accompanied by his priest goes to the boy’s house, and gives him formal invitation to his house to hold the marriage.

Meanwhile the bride who may be clad in the orthodox fashion in yellow sadi known as astaputri or vadhuvastra and a short sleeved backless bodice, sits before Gaurihar (the marriage god which is an image of Siva and his consort Gauri) in the house, throws a few grains of rice and sesamum over the image, and prays with words, “Gauri, Gauri grant me a happy wifehood and long life to him who is coming to my door.”

In the actual marriage ceremony, there are numerous stages of which, the following are the principal:-(1) Simantapujana, i.e., reception and adoration of the bridegroom at the entrance of the town. (2) Vadhugrha-gamanam, i.e., going to the place of the bride. (3) Madhuparka, i.e., a respectful offering made to a guest or the bride-groom on his arrival at the door of the father of the bride. (4) Parasparaniriksna, i.e., the ceremony of gazing at each other through the screen called antarpat, and of garlanding the bride-groom by the bride. (5) Kanyadana, i.e., the ceremony of giving the girl in marriage. (6) Vivahahoma, i.e., offering of oblation by throwing ghee into the sacred fire in honour of the marriage. (7) Panigrahana, i.e., ceremony of taking by the hand. (8) Lajahoma, i.e., throwing parched grains into the consecrated fire. (9) Saptapadi, i.e., the ceremony of bride and bride-groom walking together seven steps round the sacred fire after which the marriage becomes irrevocable.

The vivahahoma ending in saptapadi is the operative and essential portion of the ceremony. On completion of the last step the actual marriage is considered to be complete. The concluding ceremonies that follow are varat, the homeward return of the bridegroom with the bride in a procession, and grahapravesh, i.e.. the ceremonial home-entering of the newly wed.

Secrets of Millionaire behaviour -brian tracy

* Dream Big Dreams
* Develop a Clear Sense of Direction
* See Yourself as Self-Employed
* Do What You Love to Do
* Commit to Excellence
* Work Longer and Harder
* Dedicate Yourself to Lifelong Learning
* Pay Yourself First
* Learn Every Detail of Your Business
* Dedicate Yourself to Serving Others
* Be Absolutely Honest With Yourself and Others
* Determine Your Highest Priorities and Concentrate on Them Single-Mindedly
* Develop a Reputation for Speed and Dependability
* Be Prepared to Climb from Peak to Peak
* Practice Self-Discipline in All Things
* Unlock Your Inborn Creativity
* Get Around the Right People
* Take Excellent Care of Your Physical Health
* Be Decisive and Action Oriented
* Never Allow Failure to Be an Option
* Pass the Persistence Test
* Success is Predictable

Tao of Abundance by Laurence G. Boldt

1 – The Nameless Tao – Wu-ming – Recognizing the unity of all things starts you on the path to true abundance.

2 – Nature – Tzu-jan – Learning to receive opens the door to your greatest good.

3 – Ease – Wu-wei – Following the path of least resistance brings success with ease.

4 – Flow – Ch’i – Circulating the energy in your life strengthens health, deepens relationships, and generates wealth.

5 – Power – Te – Honoring your innate dignity and actualizing your inborn abilities is the road to authentic power.

6 – Harmony – Yin/Yang – Balancing yin and yang eliminates stress and brings peace of mind.

7 – Leisure – Jen – Taking time to be, to grow, and to nurture your relationships gives you the strength to persevere.

8 – Beauty – Li – Achieving your destiny is a matter of trusting and embracing the organic pattern of your life.

12 Great Riches of Life

Positive mental attitude
All riches begin with a state of mind. And remember, it is the one thing over which you have sole control. This is the starting point of all riches, whether they be material or intangible. It attracts true friendship and the hope of future achievement. You labor in the highest plane of your soul, creating. It attracts harmony in home relationships and friendly cooperation. It frees you from fear and provides you with the riches of enthusiasm. It inspires you with the riches of song and laughter, which indicate your state of mind. The joy of knowing that the mind can and will serve any desired end if one will take possession of it and fuel it with a definite purpose. It elicits the riches of play through which one may lay aside all of the burdens of life and become as a little child again. It puts you in touch with one’s “other self” – the self which knows no such reality as permanent failure. The wisdom of meditation through which one may draw upon the great universal supply of infinite intelligence at will. These and all other riches begin with a positive mental attitude.
Sound Physical Health
Sound health begins with a “health consciousness” produced by a mind that thinks in terms of health instead of sickness. It requires temperance in eating and commitment to physical activity.
Harmony in Human Relationships
Harmony with others begins with yourself. “To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou cans’t not then be false to any man” ~Shakespeare
Freedom from Fear
Nobody who fears anything is free. The seven basic fears that appear in the mind are poverty, criticism, ill health, loss of love,loss of liberty, old age, and death.
The Hope of Achievement
The greatest of all forms of happiness comes from hope of achievement of some yet unattained desire.
The Capacity for Faith
Faith is the connection with the conscious mind and all that is. It is the fertile soil of the garden of the human mind where all riches in life are produced. It is the stuff that gives creative power and action to the impulses of your thoughts.
Willingness to Share One’s Blessings
Happiness comes only by sharing. Riches that are not shared will ultimately die. All riches may be multiplied by the simple process of sharing them where they may serve others.
Labor of Love
Labor is the highest form of human expression of desire. The forerunner of all human progress. All labors of love are sanctified because they bring the joy of self-expression.
An Open Mind on All Subjects
It is only the person with an open mind who becomes truly educated and who is thus prepared to receive the greater riches of life.
Self-Discipline
The person who cannot master himself may never become of the master of anything else. Those that master themselves become the masters of their destiny. The greatest expression of this is in humility of the hear when one has attained great riches or has been overtaken by that which is called “success”.
Capacity to Understand People
Comes from the basic understanding that all people are fundamentally like and evolved from the same place. Those who understand what motivates others must first understand what motivates themselves.
Economic Security
Economic security is not attained by the possession of money alone. It is attained by the service one renders – for this may be converted into all forms of human needs, with or without the use of money.

14 Secrets to Success by Napoleon Hill

These 14 Secrets to Success are taken from a new updated version of the classic book The Magic Ladder to Success, in answer to the question “will you show us how to secure the confidence of the public in our work…?”

I render more service than I ask people to pay for.
I engage in no transaction, intentionally, that does not benefit all whom it affects.
I make no statements that I do not believe to be true.
I have sincere desire in my heart to be of useful service to the greatest possible number of people.
I like people better than money.
I am doing my best to live as well as to teach my own philosophy of success.
I accept no favors from anyone without giving favors in return.
I ask nothing of any person without having a right to that for which I ask.
I enter into no arguments with people over trivial matters.
I spread the sunshine of optimism and good cheer wherever and whenever I can.
I never flatter people for the purpose of gaining their confidence.
I sell counsel and advice to other people, at a modest price, but never offer free advice.
While teaching others how to achieve success, I have demonstrated that I can make my philosophy work for myself as well, thus “practicing what I preach.”
I am so thoroughly sold on the work in which I am engaged that my enthusiasm over it becomes contagious and others are influenced by it.

10 Major Factors for Confidence by Napoleon Hill

10 Major Factors for Confidence by Napoleon Hill
(pgs. 131-132: How to Sell Your Way Through Life, 1955, Ralston Publishing Co., Cleveland, Ohio.)
By careful observation of thousands of sales people from whom I have learned all that I know about selling, I discovered that ten major factors enter into the development of confidence. They are:
(1) Follow the habit of rendering more service and better service than you are paid to render.
(2) Enter into no transaction which does not benefit, as nearly alike as possible, everyone it affects.
(3) Make no statement which you do not believe to be true, no matter what temporary advantages a falsehood might seem to offer.
(4) Have a sincere desire in your heart to be of the greatest possible service to the largest number of people.
(5) Cultivate a wholesome admiration for people; like them better than you like money!
(6) Do you best to live as well as preach your own philosophy of business. Actions speak louder than words!
(7) Accept no favors, large or small, without giving favors in return.
(8) Ask nothing of any person without believing that you have a right to that for which you ask.
(9) Enter into no arguments with any person over trivial or non-essential details.
(10)Spread the sunshine of good cheer wherever and whenever you can. No man trusts a joy-killer!

5 Irrefutable, Non-Negotiable Laws of Leadership

Leaders, new and old, sometimes lose sight of the most fundamental tenets of leadership. Here’s a reminder… I frequently tell executives that leadership and its concepts, theories and core applications haven’t changed in a millennium.
Some of our demographics may have changed. This forces us to use alternative applications of those concepts. But the basic leadership concepts and theories remain.
So, why don’t we “just do it?”
Sometimes we aren’t motivated. Sometimes the “time” just doesn’t seem right. Maybe we simply forgot some of the basics… hence this article.
When I train companies and corporations worldwide on how to improve management and organization performance, I start off with these 5 laws new and experienced leaders should never ever forget.
Kevin’s Leadership Skills Training Survival Kit for New & Experienced Managers
Leadership Law #1: Never delay a decision that must be made.
Make your decision and move on. You may have to immediately make another decision. This doesn’t mean your first one was wrong. It merely means that your second one had the benefit of additional knowledge.
Leadership Law #2: When you want something specific done, say so specifically, using clear, plain language.
Employees generally have some difficulty doing their basic jobs. By adding “mind-reading” to their description is just plain unfair.
Do not use hints, implications, or innuendos. Say what you want, and use plain English! Directness counts.
Leadership Law #3: Never answer every employee’s every question.
Questions are teaching moments — don’t rob employees of the opportunity. But don’t spend your whole time answering questions.
When you always answer every employee’s every question, you’ll forever be answering your employee’s every question. This will leave you with no time to spend on areas that need your direct attention now.
Sounds trite, and I don’t mean it to.
If employees are asking because they’re stupid, get rid of them. If they are decent employees asking because they do not know, then teach them. They’ll know next time, and you’ll both be better for it.
Leadership Law #4: Make your expectations clear, then back up a bit and give employees room to do their job.
That doesn’t mean to never look back. To inspect what you expect isn’t micromanagement. It’s good management.
Even your top performers need clear expectations. Give them a target. Provide resources and guidance. Remove obstacles when necessary. Then let them do their job. But, don’t forget to check back later, since you still have management responsibilities.
Leadership Law #5: Employees need their managers to be leaders
Your employees don’t need a shoulder. They don’t need a buddy, a sympatico, or a commiserator. If you want a friend, buy a dog.
We all struggle with this. Everyone wants to be liked, and it always seems difficult to decline a beer after work, or something similar. I’m not advocating a monk-like existence, disallowing any contact with your troops. I’m just merely reminding you that they would like to have a friend, but they need a leader if they are to be successful.
You do want them to be successful, don’t you?
Closing Leadership Thoughts
These leadership laws are fairly intuitive, and certainly not rocket science or brain surgery. They are simple management and leadership truths that have passed the test of time.
Print these out. Laminate it. Put in your top desk drawer and don’t forget them.
About Kevin Berchelmann- visit http://www.triangleperformance.com
Described as a Human Capital Expert by The Harvard Business Press, helps companies foster, motivate, and improve existing human capital to achieve breakthrough levels

Top Ten Ways To Use Your Intuition to Make Winning Decisions

Follow your heart.” “Listen to your inner voice.” “Trust your guidance.” It all sounds so easy. But what do you do when your inner voice sounds like your inner critic, or worse, your inner child run amok!? How can you learn to depend on your intuition to help guide you to the right decisions?
1. What does your intuition tell you? Your intuition can contribute “quick and ready” insight according to Webster’s dictionary. Too often we discount the role of intuition in decision making. Begin to pay close attention to what your intuition is telling you; it could lead directly to positive changes in your life.
2. How Does Your Intuition Communicate With You? Each of us has a predominate form in which we receive intuitive information. It may come through feelings, images, body sensation (gut feelings) or through your thoughts. When you are making a decision pay particular attention to all of these ways that your intuition communicates with you.
3. Ask your intuition questions. Many people believe that intuition comes completely unbidden. I have found that when you ask your intuition for additional insight it will respond with answers. Ask, “What should I do in this situation?” or “What do I need to know about this.” Remember you may get the answers from a variety of sources. (Feelings, words, physical sensations, and images.)
4. Act on the information you receive. Developing your intuition is like learning any new skill. It’s not unlike learning an athletic ability. The more you practice the better you get at it. If using your intuition is new for you it may be best to use it in relatively low risk situations at first. This will help you develop your “intuitive muscles.”
5. You may not receive information immediately. If you don’t understand something, ask for clarification. It is possible to get your guidance in dreams, for instance. Many people ask for intuitive guidance during a meditation and don’t receive information immediately. You may find that the insight you desire will come seemingly unbidden at some point later in the day while you’re involved in other tasks.
6. Learn to take small steps. Most of us feel quite anxious when making big changes in our lives. We’re afraid we’ll make a mistake that we’ll later regret. I’ve found that taking small steps towards a decision works great. You may find, as many do, that as you take those small steps, that the decision becomes clearer, your resolve becomes stronger and the fear begins to lessen.
7. Write down the guidance you receive. Whenever you’re facing a tough decision, write about it in a journal you keep for this purpose. Always jot down what your intuition is communicating. What feelings do you have about this decision? What images come to mind? Are there any body sensations that indicate a good or bad decision? Is there a still, quiet, inner voice that informs you? It’s helpful to look back at this journal from time to time to see how accurate your guidance was. Did you trust the information you received? Did you act on its wisdom?
8. Don’t forget your left brain! Remember to use your logical or rational mind in this process as well. There needn’t be a competition between the intuitive mind and the rational mind. Your rational side can help you find out facts and assist you with details of your decision. Your intuitive or “right brain” simply adds another level of information often described as, “You know, but you don’t know how you know.”
9. What’s your goal in making this decision? When using your intuition, it helps to be clear what outcome you want. Many people get stuck in the process by thinking of all the things they don’t want. When you’re clear about your goals, your intuition can inform you about the clearest, most direct path to achieve it.
10. Intuition is guidance from your higher self. Your intuition is always there to guide you and provide for you.
Author’s Bio
Lynn A. Robinson, M.Ed. is an intuitive consultant, author and popular seminar leader. She is the co-author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being Psychic”

The major stages of the Hindu Marriage Ceremony -Wedding Rites

Ganesh Puja
The wedding day starts with a prayer invoking Lord Ganesh whose divine grace dispel all evils and promotes a successful and peaceful completion of the ceremony.

Grah Shanti (Worship to the Nine Planets)
This is a prayer to the nine planets of our Solar system. Ancient Indian studies indicated that various celestial bodies have an influence on the destiny of every individual. The effect of the nine planets is meant to be the most profound. During this puja the Gods associated with these planets are asked to infuse courage, peace of mind and inner strength to the bride and groom to help them endure life’s sufferings.

The Welcome (Parchan)
The bride’s mother welcomes the bridegroom with a garland and she then escorts him to the mandap. The father of the bride washes the right foot of the bridegroom with milk and honey. At the end of the welcome, a white sheet is held to prevent this bridegroom seeing the arrival of the bride.

Arrival of the Bride
The bride is escorted to the mandap by her maternal uncle (Mama), female cousins and friends. In some wedding ceremonies she may be carried in a small carriage to the mandap.

Kanyadaan (Entrusting of the Daughter)
Consent of the parents is obtained for the wedding to proceed. The bride’s parents give their daughter to the groom by putting the bride’s right hand into the groom’s right hand (Hastamelap, joining of hands) while reciting sacred verse. The curtain separating the bride and groom is then lowered and the couple exchange flower garlands. The elders of the house place an auspicious white cotton cord around the couple’s shoulder’s to protect them from the evil influences. This also symbolises the couple’s bond. The groom holds the bride’s hand and they both take vows to love cherish and protect each other throughout life.

Ganthibandhan (tying the knot)
The priest ties the wedding knot as a symbol of the permanent union between the bride and groom as husband and wife.

Agni Puja (evocation of the holy fire)
The priest sets up a small fire in a kund (cooper bowl). Agni (fire) is the mouth of Vishnu and symbolises the illumination of mind, knowledge and happiness. The remainder of the ceremony is conducted around the fire.

Shilarohana (stepping on the stone)
The bride places her right foot on a stone. The bridegroom tells her to be as firm as the stone in his house so that the can face their enemies and the difficulties of life together.

Laja homa (putting parched rice into the sacred fire)
Three obligations are offered to the sacred fire. The brother of the bride puts into the bride’s hand parched rice, half of which slips into the bridegroom’s hand. Mantras are chanted. The bride prays to Yama, the God of Death, that he grant long life, health, happiness and prosperity to the bridegroom.

Mangalfera (walking around the fire)
The couple walk around the sacred fire four times. Each time they stop to touch with their toe a stone in their path. This symbolises obstacles in life that they will overcome together. These four rounds stand for the four basic human goals:

Dharma – righteousness
Artha – monetary accomplishment
Kama – energy and passion in life
Moksha – liberation from everything in life.

The groom, signifying his contribution in helping the union to attain dharma, artha and kama, leads the first three rounds. The bride signifying their continual journey spiritual liberation leads the last round.

Saptapadi (seven steps)
The bride and groom take seven steps together around the fire. It is said in Hindu philosophy that if two people walk seven steps together then they will remain lifelong friends. They exchange sacred vows at the beginning of each encircling walk. At the end of each walk, the open palms of the bride are filled with puffed rice by her brother signifying wealth and prosperity. The seven steps and their promises are:

1.Let us take the first step to provide for our household, keeping a pure diet and avoiding those things that might harm us.

2. Let us take the second step to develop our physical, mental and spiritual powers.

3. Let us take our third step to increase our wealth by righteous and proper means.

4. Let us take out fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love, respect and trust.

5. Let us take the fifth step so that we may be blessed with strong, virtuous and heroic children.

6. Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.

7. Let us take the seventh step to be true companions and remain life-long partners by this wedlock.

Saubhagya Chinha (blessing the bride)
The bridegroom blesses the bride by putting kumkum or sindhur (vermilion powder) at the parting of her hair (or on her forehead) and by giving her a sacred necklace (Mangal Sutra). The Mangal Sutra represents the couple’s togetherness, love and sacred union.

Haridaya-Sparsha (touching of hearts)
The bride and bridegroom touch each other’s heart reciting promises to each other.

Chathurthi Karma
The bride and groom feed each other four times for nourishment of the bone, muscle, skin and soul.

Aashirvaad (blessings)
The priest blesses the bride and groom. Flower petals and rice are given to the guests to shower them on the bride and groom with blessings. The wedding guests can then give their individuals blessings to the bride and groom and once completed, the marriage ceremony ends. Guests are invited to enjoy a sumptuous meal with the newlyweds.

Viddai (Bride’s departure)
The farewell to the bride by her family and friends is a very emotional episode. The bride is leaving her parents home to build a life with her husband and his family. She leaves with tears of joy and sorrow.

Pilucinchuanu
Before the wedding car departs for the Hindu temple, the priest will place a coconut under the front wheel of the car and wait for it to be broken by the weight of the car. The historic significance of this is that in the old days the couple would use a horse drawn carriage and the breaking of the coconut ensured that the vehicle was roadworthy for the journey. The pilucinchuanu concludes the entire ceremony.